About The Author

Contributing Writer

#Guardians Of The Galaxy

Badly Translated Subtitles May Hurt ‘Guardians of the Galaxy’ In China

By | 13 Comments

The Chinese distributors of 'Guardians of the Galaxy,' aka 'Interplanetary Unusual Attacking Team,' did a third-rate translation of a third-grade reading level movie.The results showed.


A Complete Ranking Of Nicholas Sparks Movies, From ‘Just Bad’ To ‘Actively Evil’

By | 32 Comments

To prepare for 'The Best of Me,' a review of the eight other Nicholas Sparks movies that are way, way worse.

#Bill Murray

Breaking News: Bill Murray Finally Got A BlackBerry

By | 7 Comments

After decades of deliberation, the actors has decided to finally purchase a BBM.


Brad Pitt And Shia LaBeouf Got Into Fistfights To Prepare For ‘Fury’

By | 12 Comments

To help build 'intimacy' in 'Fury,' LaBeouf used to punch Brad Pitt in the face.

queen of england

The Queen of England Made Angelina Jolie An ‘Honorary Dame,’ Whatever That Means

By | 15 Comments

The actress has been rewarded for her noble efforts with a lovingly meaningless title.


Meet The Couple Who Turned Their Pregnancy Announcement Into A Wes Anderson Movie

By | 23 Comments

A good-looking couple made a good-looking parody to celebrate their future (probably good-looking) child.


Casey Affleck Will Mispronounce His Rs In ‘Boston Strong’

By | 75 Comments

In a shocking turn of events, the Boston native has been cast in a Boston movie.


Nicholas Sparks Is Racist, Homophobic, Anti-Semitic, And Anti-Alzheimer’s (!!), According To A New Lawsuit

By | 15 Comments

The former headmaster of a school Sparks founded is suing him for his stupid remarks, not his stupid movies.


Surprise! The MPAA Discriminates Against Gay-Themed Movies

By | 28 Comments

The MPAA gave an R rating to a movie that featured little sex and no violence, but plenty of gay content.


Anne Hathaway Says ‘Fame F*cked Me Up For A Really Long Time’ (A Year?)

By | 17 Comments

The actress took a break from movies because "people needed a break from her" (Not true! We just hated 'Les Mis'!)

michael strahan

Michael Strahan Will Strip In A G-String In ‘Magic Mike XXL’

By | 10 Comments

Michael Strahan will join the cast of 'Magic Mike XXL,' as the earth spins closer to perfection.

#Shia Labeouf

Shia LaBeouf Ran A ‘Metamarathon’ To Help Raise Awareness Of Weirdness

By | 6 Comments

The actor dressed up in Day-Glo Spandex and ran around a museum 144 times. I dunno either.


Poor Miles Teller Said Doing ‘Divergent’ Made Him Feel ‘Dead Inside’ :-(

By | 47 Comments

In a tell-all interview, the actor actually compares himself to Elvis.

the maze runner

REVIEW: ‘The Maze Runner’ Is The Most Platonic Gay Porn Ever Designed By Man

By | 23 Comments

In the 'Maze Runner,' young men fight evil, battle spiders, solve logic puzzles.

Sign Up

Powered by WordPress.com VIP