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Ellen Page Is Too Lesbian For Catholic School, Apparently

By | 12 Comments

A too-gay movie is banned from filming at a secretly-gay high school.

kristen stewart

Kristen Stewart Says She’s Going To ‘Take Time Off’ To ‘Make A Bunch of Stuff’

By | 16 Comments

The actress has decided to take a hiatus from who-knows-what to make god-knows-what.


A Universal Studios Employee Has Been Sued For Allegedly Calling Thirteen-year-old Girls ‘Sluts and Whores’

By | 17 Comments

For the park's Halloween-themed show, two girls were offered up to the 'highest bidder' in the audience.


‘The Look Of Silence’ Trailer Is Here And Obviously It’s Perfect

By | 15 Comments

The 'Act of Killing''s sequel has a trailer that's more meaningful than anything any of us did today.

#Guardians Of The Galaxy

Badly Translated Subtitles May Hurt ‘Guardians of the Galaxy’ In China

By | 14 Comments

The Chinese distributors of 'Guardians of the Galaxy,' aka 'Interplanetary Unusual Attacking Team,' did a third-rate translation of a third-grade reading level movie.The results showed.


A Complete Ranking Of Nicholas Sparks Movies, From ‘Just Bad’ To ‘Actively Evil’

By | 32 Comments

To prepare for 'The Best of Me,' a review of the eight other Nicholas Sparks movies that are way, way worse.

#Bill Murray

Breaking News: Bill Murray Finally Got A BlackBerry

By | 7 Comments

After decades of deliberation, the actors has decided to finally purchase a BBM.


Brad Pitt And Shia LaBeouf Got Into Fistfights To Prepare For ‘Fury’

By | 12 Comments

To help build 'intimacy' in 'Fury,' LaBeouf used to punch Brad Pitt in the face.

queen of england

The Queen of England Made Angelina Jolie An ‘Honorary Dame,’ Whatever That Means

By | 15 Comments

The actress has been rewarded for her noble efforts with a lovingly meaningless title.


Meet The Couple Who Turned Their Pregnancy Announcement Into A Wes Anderson Movie

By | 23 Comments

A good-looking couple made a good-looking parody to celebrate their future (probably good-looking) child.


Casey Affleck Will Mispronounce His Rs In ‘Boston Strong’

By | 75 Comments

In a shocking turn of events, the Boston native has been cast in a Boston movie.


Nicholas Sparks Is Racist, Homophobic, Anti-Semitic, And Anti-Alzheimer’s (!!), According To A New Lawsuit

By | 15 Comments

The former headmaster of a school Sparks founded is suing him for his stupid remarks, not his stupid movies.


Surprise! The MPAA Discriminates Against Gay-Themed Movies

By | 28 Comments

The MPAA gave an R rating to a movie that featured little sex and no violence, but plenty of gay content.


Anne Hathaway Says ‘Fame F*cked Me Up For A Really Long Time’ (A Year?)

By | 17 Comments

The actress took a break from movies because "people needed a break from her" (Not true! We just hated 'Les Mis'!)

michael strahan

Michael Strahan Will Strip In A G-String In ‘Magic Mike XXL’

By | 10 Comments

Michael Strahan will join the cast of 'Magic Mike XXL,' as the earth spins closer to perfection.

#Shia Labeouf

Shia LaBeouf Ran A ‘Metamarathon’ To Help Raise Awareness Of Weirdness

By | 6 Comments

The actor dressed up in Day-Glo Spandex and ran around a museum 144 times. I dunno either.

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