The Kings are Dead, Long Live the Kings

After months of speculation that the Sacramento Kings were about to become the Sacramento Kings of Anaheim, team owners The Maloof Family passed down word to the Anaheim Arena Management Company, and basketball will remain in Northern California for another year. That means the Kings and their awesome trampy dance team won’t have to worry about playing so close to the Clippers and the Lakers, which would drive their attendance down from 1% of California basketball fans to about a negative six.

From an article in the LA Times (website):

The decision to stay follows weeks of maneuvering by Sacramento Mayor Kevin Johnson, who mobilized more than $10 million in sponsorship and ticket support for the team in the capital, and gathered interest from Los Angeles billionaire Ron Burkle to help build a new arena downtown for the Kings.

The Maloofs (who may or may not be a family of beavers, I don’t know much about Pokémon) were fully prepared to move the team despite criticism from the league and NBA Commissioner David Stern, so who knows where they’ll eventually end up, but for now the Sack Kings are set. On a personal note, I’d like to express how hideously ugly the Maloof family (pictured, right) is, and how they are a Creature from the Black Lagoon poster and a couple of cowboy hats away from being a Rob Zombie movie. It’s not hard to see why these people want to live in Southern California.

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