You Know Why 2005 Was A Great Summer?
7.25 The Cooler

Blazers sign Andre Miller, and the dumbest story of the week

By 07.25.09
Andre Miller

Andre Miller

Everybody’s still waiting on Lamar Odom and the Lakers to reconcile — it’s like sitting through three seasons of “Flavor of Love” when you know Flavor Flav is just gonna stay with his baby’s mother in the end — but in the meantime, perhaps the second-biggest free agent left on the board is now off. Andre Miller agreed to a deal with the Blazers that is rumored to be worth $22 million over three years … Depending on what you think of Jerryd Bayless‘ game, point guard was one of the few weaker areas on a deep Portland roster. Miller allows Steve Blake to go from one of the lower-tier starting PG’s in the League to one of the best backups, and Bayless can step into that role of off-the-bench scoring combo guard that every team seems to need these days. The move also makes Brandon Roy better, as he no longer has to play PG in the fourth quarter and can focus on getting buckets … So where does this put the Blazers in the West? While we don’t know yet what the Jazz will get when they trade Carlos Boozer, for now we like Portland over Utah in their division, with Denver as the toughest competition. Have the But have the Blazers cracked the elite group with the Lakers and Spurs? … Then there’s the Sixers. Lou Williams and Jrue Holiday are the remaining point guards on the roster, and the team is said to be interested in Jamaal Tinsley and Carlos Arroyo. Ideally they can get one of those guys to be the backup, which allows Williams to play that Bayless role we talked about (Lou is better when he just has to score and doesn’t have to, you know, think). And hopefully Holiday can have a solid, harmless, Mario Chalmers-like season as a rookie starting PG. But if Lou does end up starting at the point, get ready for a lot of crunch-time possessions where Andre Iguodala, Elton Brand and Thaddeus Young stand there like decoys while Lou goes 1-on-5 like he’s Kobe‘s midget twin … The Knicks were one of the teams interested in ‘Dre Miller, but lately they’ve been all about Ramon Sessions. And if that deal falls through, it’s really bottom-of-the-barrel time. We hear Von Wafer would be one of the next targets. If Von turns them down, Donnie Walsh may be flashing the Bat-Signal to find where in the world is Lawrence Moten … There hasn’t been much news coming out of the Team USA mini-camp in Vegas — aside from Coach K confirming what we all know, that Kevin Durant is some kind of alien from the planet Massbuckets — but we did come across this video: Josh Smith smashing one on Kevin Love. (Cue the jokes about K-Love having the tape confiscated) … Speaking of dunks, serious question: Would you watch the WNBA more often if there were more dunks? Lowering the rims has been a suggestion people always throw around for the women’s game, but one of our writers thinks it’s plain stupid … The Heat didn’t match the Cavs’ offer sheet for Jamario Moon, which opens the door for Michael Beasley to start at small forward in Miami. Which was probably gonna happen anyway … Was there a dumber sports story this week than the whole Tim Tebow thing? If you didn’t know, one of the SEC coaches didn’t vote Tebow onto the preseason first team All-SEC squad, and there was basically a witch hunt going on all week to find out who it was. Then it turns out it was Steve Spurrier, who admitted he didn’t even fill out his ballot and that a South Carolina staffer did (which is the case with almost every college coach, which is why the “coaches poll” is a joke). The only surprise was that it wasn’t Lane Kiffin, who’s the type to not vote for Tebow just to be a dick. At the end of the day, who really cares whether Tebow is a unanimous preseason all-conference pick? But hey, anything to take the football world’s attention off Brett Favre could be considered a worthwhile story … We’re out like Moon over Miami …


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