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LOLNFL: Wildcard Weekend

Get Your Timeout, Purple!

By 01.13.10

(photo. adidas)


After 30-something games of tinkering with rotations, dealing with injuries and middling through their typical slow start, we got the feeling last night was the real beginning of this season for the Spurs. In handing the visiting Lakers a 20-piecing that admittedly gets an asterisk because Pau Gasol (hamstring) was sidelined and Kobe (back) sat out the fourth quarter, San Antone nonetheless showed a consistent level of energy and execution they’ve been looking for all year. Tim Duncan (25 pts, 13 rebs, 4 blks) owned the first half with post-ups and a crossover/finger roll thrown in, Tony Parker (22 pts, 6 asts) owned the third quarter with mid-range jumpers and drives, Richard Jefferson‘s shooting stroke and defense were on-point, and the Manu Ginobili-led second unit played solid throughout on both ends … George Hill (13 pts, 6 asts, 2 stls) actually out-Manu’d Manu. In the first half, Hill picked Kobe’s pockets clean in open court and went in for a dunk while Kobe could only watch from his butt. In the second half, Hill capped the run that ended L.A.’s last threat with an acrobatic up-and-under layup that prompted the Spurs’ play-by-play guy to yell, “Get your timeout, purple!” … After listening to Tommy Heinsohn cry all over the Celtics/Hawks game on Monday, Sean Elliott was relatively tolerable. However, Elliott kept calling Lamar Odom “Lamar Kardashian,” and he was overly sprung on Ron Artest‘s body. Among other things, Elliott called Ron-Ron “a walking muscle,” and insisted Artest could’ve been a bodybuilder. Artest is built like a tank, but chill out, homey … When DJ Mbenga scored his only bucket, the play-by-play guy noted DJ averages two points per game. “Alright, that’s it, you can go sit down now,” he joked. A couple possessions later, Mbenga pulled a Donovan McNabb and threw Odom a 130-mph pass from three feet away, and L.O. gave him a look that said, “Alright, that’s it, you can go sit down now.” … Three signs your team is stuck in an ugly losing streak, courtesy the Detroit Pistons announcers: (1) You get overly excited when players do stuff they’re supposed to do, e.g. not being mentally checked out; (2) When the team does something good, you can only compare it to what opponents did against you recently; (3) One of your pre-game “Keys to Success” is something simple like “Pride.” … The Pistons snapped the losing streak at 13, beating the Wizards in front of about 51 fans in D.C. It wasn’t rocket science: Detroit cut down on turnovers, won the rebounding battle, made their threes, shared the ball, and happened to catch a bad team on the schedule … Chris Webber might have summed up Charlie Villanueva‘s entire career: “He shows up every once in a while, like every 4.3 games.” Meanwhile, the Sixers fan in your life is ready with a “C-Webb would know about that” comeback …

Why?


What the hell is this? … Grizzlies/Clippers was just an odd game. For starters, we’re in January and the Grizzlies and Clippers are only a combined one game under-.500. Then in the third quarter, the FedEx Forum was suddenly evacuated during a scary situation that turned out to be just a broken water line in the sprinkler system. After the game was restarted following a 30-minute or so delay, the Grizzlies came back from a double-digit hole in the fourth quarter to get the win … Baron Davis almost had a triple-double in the first half (17 pts, 9 rebs, 9 asts) and finished with 27-12-12 with five steals in the loss. Marc Gasol put up 24 points and 15 boards in the win … Big stat lines from Monday’s other NBA games: Stephen Jackson dropped 43 points (15-22 FG) as the Bobcats beat the Rockets; and Dwight Howard crowned the Kings for 30 points, 16 boards and three blocks in a blowout … Aren’t the Knicks tired of being the centerpiece of each year’s most insane NBA story? This time it involves a haunted hotel in Oklahoma City. Of all the inevitable Eddy Curry jokes we heard because of this, the best was from reader Mike who wrote, “Eddy Curry was the only ghost in that hotel. He disappeared from the League a long time ago.” … We’re out like ghosts …


TOPICS#DWIGHT HOWARD#KOBE BRYANT
TAGSBARACK OBAMABARON DAVISCharlie VillanuevaCHRIS WEBBERDJ MbengaDONOVAN MCNABBGeorge HillLAMAR ODOMMANU GINOBILIMARC GASOLPAU GASOLRICHARD JEFFERSONRON ARTESTSean ElliottSmackSTEPHEN JACKSONTIM DUNCANTommy HeinsohnTONY PARKER

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