Brian Pumper Is Feenin' For The Takeover
Morning Meat: Jesus Shaves

Noah decides to shut it down; Iverson isn’t getting a choice

By 08.10.10

Joakim Noah (photo. Monte Isom)


In a couple of days we’ll have plenty of reasons to be distracted from an NBA free agency/trade “frenzy” that is suddenly moving slower than Skee-Lo‘s last album sales. The World Basketball Festival kicks off in NYC on Thursday, where we’ll get an up-close look at Team USA, France, China, Brazil and Puerto Rico in a series of scrimmages and exhibition games, among a million other things going on for the big four-day weekend … Joakim Noah won’t be there playing for Team France, as he’s decided to take the summer off while trying to avoid injury. He also won’t be stepping off curbs, using knives at home, or showering the rest of the summer just to be safe … Still no offers for the two most notable free agents left out there, T-Mac and Allen Iverson. At least T-Mac’s been getting some workouts and serious consideration; A.I. is being treated like moldy lunch meat in the fridge. If this really is the end for Iverson, how will you remember his career? … Meanwhile, Tim Thomas is expected to re-sign with the Mavericks any day now. Tell us again what Thomas brings to the table? He’ll make this list of video-game stars before he makes a list of impact players in the League … Shaq swears he’s joined his last team and that he’ll retire as a Celtic. Of course Shaq also said years ago that he’d retire before playing for a coach other than Phil Jackson, then said basically the same thing about Pat Riley. We’ll believe the Diesel is done when he’s sitting in the TNT studio every Thursday making Charles Barkley look small … The NBA might have to save the Knicks from themselves after all. While the team originally said their arrangement with Isiah Thomas was OK within the rules, the League is expected to pull the plug on Isiah’s part-time consultant role, according to CBS Sports. NBA personnel aren’t allowed to have contact with college players before they declare for the Draft, which obviously directly conflicts with Isiah’s role as head coach at Florida International. This whole thing was pointless and unnecessary for the Knicks anyway. If you need a part-time consultant that bad, call up Hubie Brown or somebody … You can’t blame Andris Biedrins if he assumed Monta Ellis and Stephen Curry don’t follow Latvian media outlets. But he should have known somebody would catch wind of his recent interview and relay it back to his teammates. Biedrins (translated) said “most of” the players on the Warriors are “egoists,” and that the relationships on the team are more professional acquaintance than friendship. “If (the Warriors) trade me,” he said, “there could be some nice changes involved. Maybe I’ll be on a better team with better teamwork.” Nobody is surprised when a consistently garbage team like G-State hates each other, but you’re not supposed to say it out loud until after you’re on a different squad … We’re out like Zeke …


TAGSALLEN IVERSONAndris BiedrinsCHARLES BARKLEYISIAH THOMASJOAKIM NOAHmonta ellisPAT RILEYPHIL JACKSONShaquille O'NealSmackSTEPHEN CURRYTIM THOMASTRACY MCGRADY

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