Chris Bosh: No More Shine Blockas

At this point, you’ve heard it all about Chris Bosh. Miami only has “two great players.” Should’ve signed Amar’e. He melts in the clutch. He’s soft. The fake tough guy. The Bosh-trich. Over the last year, we’ve all heard the dude get killed (and if you’re like us, maybe you did just a little bit of the killing), but the time has come. Give credit where it’s due. Chris Bosh was incredible in Game 3 (34 points), leading the Miami Heat to a 96-85 W over the Bulls. Bosh was straight unconscious (like slipped-into-a-coma unconscious) for three quarters, hitting 13-of-15 shots during one stretch, and elevating himself to Miami’s numero uno in maybe their biggest win of the year. He had all the post moves on display, Rubik’s Cube-ing Carlos Boozer and Taj Gibson with the baby hook, the spin-and-slam and the 17-foot J. We envisioned this when he became the first to announce that a star would be taking his talents to South Beach. In Game 3, for maybe the first time all season, the prophecy was realized. When Bosh gets it going, Miami needs only LeBron or Wade and they’re good money. That’s a scary thought … All night, LeBron (22 points, six rebounds, 10 assists) was doing his Magic routine. In the third quarter, he played the point, predominately with Wade on the bench, and the Miami offense thrived with his ability to create shots for his teammates by driving and drawing defenders. Miami extended the lead to 10 (good) only to have Luol Deng rain down on them like a Stage-5 hurricane in the Bulls’ last few possessions of the third (less good). The problem? Besides that, Deng dropped just eight points throughout (14 total) … LBJ had a sick transition and-one trampling of a frightened Kyle Korver as Reggie announced LeBron had just “released the Kraken.” So we guess we can start calling ‘Bron a “legendary sea monster of gargantuan size, said to have dwelt off the coasts of Norway and Iceland.” Sounds about right … Daniel is around 6-2 and shoots threes for a terrible team. He also just married Keyshia Cole. Taj is around 6-9 and provides the muscle for a great team. We doubt he just married Keyshia Cole. Just trying to figure out why Chuck seems to think they are the same person … After the game, Derrick Rose (20 points on 8-of-19 shooting) admitted that Miami’s trap on Chicago’s pick ‘n’ roll may be tempering his aggressiveness. He “tried to make the right play” and trust that his teammates would be able to run the odd-man sets without him. Yeah, that hasn’t really been happening. Even with a great outing from Boozer (26 points, 17 rebounds), the Bulls simply can’t win without Rose being spectacular. And this is two consecutive nights where he hasn’t been. It’s that Heat defense. They are so long and athletic on the perimeter that their help D (Bosh, Joel Anthony, Udonis Haslem) can commit to blocking shots and taking charges … Speaking of Boozer, the numbers were great, but they should’ve been better (he seriously must’ve missed close to 10 shots right at the rim). It’s not a good sign if your starting PF, a guy you gave $80 mill to, doesn’t finish as well as either his backup or your PG. Do you think Boozer was nervous being in Miami, playing against Lil’ Wayne‘s squad? Alaska’s finest was in a tough spot: play unassertively and piss off his teammates or go beast mode on the Heat and lose any chance of getting signed to Young Money. Thankfully, he put his rap career to the side to become the Bulls best offensive weapon for at least one game … Before the game, Rose dealt with a report from ESPN The Magazine that claimed he admitted PEDs were a “huge” issue in the NBA (a seven on a scale of 10). He later denied it, saying he doesn’t remember the context or even if he had said that at all … Miami fans however, they might be on some drugs – rocking the house with their “MVP” chants every time Joel Anthony gets to the free-throw line. It’s actually kind of hilarious … For the sake of consistency, the NBA better be ready to hand out a $100k fine to Joakim Noah. In the first quarter, the TNT cameras caught him saying very nearly the same 13 letters Kobe said, albeit this time it was to a fan and not an official. That might make a difference, but Stern should make him pony up. Or are we all going to forget about it because it came from Joakim Noah? … Surprisingly, Craig Sager brought his Grinch outfit out…in the middle of May … We’re out like the Kraken.

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