I remember begging my mom to get HBO. I was 14 at the time and all my friends at school had it. Entourage was in it’s first season and had completely taken over their lives. Personally, I thought HBO was a show. At school, anytime I heard the word “entourage,” I figured it was just being used to describe a group of people. I kept those thoughts to myself.
Lunch time was Entourage time at school. Or for me, what I liked to call, sit-there-and-pretend-you-know-what-the-hell-everyone-is-talking-about time. So, like any other sweaty, hormonal, 13-year-old kid, I sat there, like an idiot, and listened to last night’s tales of Vince, Drama Ari, Turtle and E. Everyday.
(Sitting at the table) What’s “E?” Is that a drug, or is “E” actually someone’s name? Is “Vince” on “E?” Maybe they’re all on “E?” And what the hell is “Turtle?” Is that a person? There’s no way that’s a person. How could someone name their child “Turtle? “Timmy?” “Here.” “Johnny?” “Here.” “Turtle–?. No way, has to be a pet. And isn’t “Drama” a genre? I hate this show.
I debated coming clean. Pulling back the curtain and unveiling my secret. The thought of finally getting some answers made me giddy. Oh how glorious it would have been – but I couldn’t do it. I was too invested. I had come too far to just give up now: “Wait, so–you’ve never actually seen the show…? Waaaaaaaay too far. I was like an undercover Fed infiltrating a prominent New York family – any suspicion whatsoever and I’d be at the bottom of the river with cinderblocks tied to my feet. That, and I’d look like a ninny.
So I stuck it out.
Then I started watching it at a friend’s house. Problem solved. Call me Helen Keller cause I’m a f—in’ miracle worker!
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This Sunday we say goodbye. And after eight years of f-bombs, supermodels, pot smoking and Lloyd, the time has finally come. The time to say farewell to a show of a generation. It’s impossible for me to sum up my feelings in one measly little paragraph, so I felt it only necessary to award my favorite moments from the show – eight years in the making.