Happy Birthday Bill Walton! His Top 5 Moments On The Mic

Has there ever been an NBA player who’s lived a life of more varied interests than Bill Walton? It’s not often a college legend who became an NBA MVP, champion, All-Star and cautionary tale about injury shortened careers is almost remembered more for his interests outside of his playing. Take, for example, his public love for the Grateful Dead, a fan since 1967 and friend of the late Jerry Garcia. Chances are you know, love or revile him because of his work as a broadcaster. That’s why we’re here today.

Walton gave up duties calling cames back in 2009 but he’s shown up here and there since, notably a celebration of the Grateful Dead at a Kings game in 2011. He’s the creator of “Throw it down, big man,” a call that you won’t see on this list because, well, there’s no video evidence of it on YouTube. Just understand the omission isn’t taken lightly, because it’s the best sentence he’s ever said on a microphone, ever. Its only challenger could be another call that is sadly lost to video history, when he called out Larry Johnson for a bad play in the 1999 NBA Finals thusly: “What a pathetic performance by this sad human being.”

So if you can forgive that those won’t be here on account of their absence from YouTube’s memory, follow through for his other best calls. What a long strange trip it’s been, indeed.

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5. BILL VS. SHAQUILLE
It’s impossible to watch this video now, seeing Walton tear apart Shaquille O’Neal for legitimate reasons — Shaq said he couldn’t play because of injuries in Miami, but upon a trade to Phoenix promised a title — and not think of Shaq ripping  Dwight Howard with non sequiturs and other contrived arguments now from his own broadcaster perch.

The theme of “what goes around comes around” also works here because of Walton’s core issue with Shaq, the injuries. Walton, Grant Hill and Anfernee Hardaway are part of an elite, tragic class whose injuries cut short incredible careers. He actually has grounds to say this about O’Neal as a big man facing a spate of injuries and delivers a classic verbal uppercut to prove it. It’s almost painful to listen to Shaq’s rambling response after Walton’s to-the-point jab. I mostly remember of Walton as being a lover of the purple prose and flowery speech, but it would be wrong to forget that he never minced words.



4. T-MAC’S THE BEST EVER
All of us at Dime have a soft spot for Tracy McGrady that will never be tarnished. It’s why when Walton said that Magic-era McGrady had the chance to the best ever, it was classic Walton mixed with our love for McGrady. Walton was unabashed about throwing down a superlative such as the hallowed G.O.A.T. title.



3. QUICK ON HIS FEET
Walton had incredible footwork, which was crucial to his being one of the most agile centers in history when he was healthy. That training was mirrored in how deft he could be calling a game, too. When Tony Parker unknowingly showed him up with a pull-up J against the Lakers, Walton ate crow. I know some who despise Walton because he can be self-effacing without actually pointing out his flaws like he is here (and generally calling out others and being a Teflon target himself), but he was so good at pivoting when he was proven wrong.

Honorable mention from Spurs/Lakers: “What a pass!”



2. RAY ALLEN LOVE
Ray Allen was a personal favorite of Walton’s. Do not doubt this. First, listen to Allen compared to a river. Then, hear him compared to a guitarist.



1. BORIS DIAW, RENAISSANCE MAN
I’m not even sure some of Walton’s longtime broadcast partners knew when he was kidding or being serious. What is known, however, is that intertwining his love of Diaw’s game in Phoenix with Beethoven is broadcast gold even if no one understands what he was talking about.

What do you think?

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