A Cruel Summer: A Review Of The 12 Biggest Storylines Of The NBA’s Offseason

By: 09.18.12
G.O.O.D. Music's Cruel Summer

Leave it to Kanye West to postpone the summer as long as David Stern did the NBA season a year ago. The G.O.O.D. Music performance that capped off Jay-Z‘s Made in America music festival teased us almost as much as a new NBA 2K13 trailer from 2K Sports. But the best things in life are always worth the wait. Now, Yeezy has dropped Cruel Summer upon us, while the NBA’s offseason is at a dead period until training camp starts.

Still, it’s as good a time as any to look back on this summer’s major headlines through Hit-Boy’s well-produced beats…

*** *** ***

“To the World” – Kanye West feat. R. Kelly

Knicks fans should’ve seen this coming. Jeremy Lin wasn’t going to stay in New York forever – or at least not for a discount.

“I’m going down to make sure I do it my way. If it doesn’t get me where I want to go I can live with that,” Lin told ESPN’s Rachel Nichols in an exclusive interview back in February.

Once he got the opportunity to shine, he made up his mind going forward. Lin was going out on his f@#&in’ terms, no matter what. R. Kelly’s intro is stuck on repeat. And James Dolan should be informed these Kanye lines are directed at him: “These n!$$@s tryna hold me back, I’m just trying to protect my stacks. Mitt Romney don’t pay no tax, Mitt Romney don’t pay no tax.”

Subscribe to UPROXX
Page 2

“Clique” – Kanye West and Big Sean feat. Jay-Z

Lately, the most significant NBA trend is squads stackin’ up to form super teams. The Miami Heat winning the title epitomizes this. Yet, they’re no match for the Los Angeles Lakers. They know how to do it better. They stole Steve Nash from a division rival with a trade exception and draft picks. Someone better be spittin’ Hov’s line, “It’s the Dream Team, meets the Supreme Team.”

As Magic Johnson dished dimes to other Hall of Famers, and Supreme McGriff controlled the crack game back in the day, Nash represents the ringleader, while Dwight Howard’s path from The Indecision to the anointed next great Laker center is conveyed through this Big Sean line: “But I’m the f@$%ing villain, man, they kneeling when I’m walking in the building.” Yeah, Kobe Bryant is bobbin’ his head to the hook…

Ain’t nobody f#&%ing with my
Clique, clique, clique, clique, clique

Page 3

“Mercy” – Kanye West, Big Sean and Pusha-T feat. 2 Chainz

Leading up to the draft, this joint applied solely to Anthony Davis. A couple months later and “Mercy” relates to the New Orleans Hornets as a whole. Since David Stern engineered the Chris Paul trade, he has 29 other squads jealous of the package they got for their former superstar. Orlando Magic fans probably wish Stern was calling the shots there instead of Rob Hennigan.

Seemingly overnight, the Hornets have transformed from a place of pity to an exciting, promising upstart. These Big Sean verses describe their recent events:

Whoa, make the ground move, that’s an ass quake
Built a house on that ass, that’s an ass state

Finally got paid, now I need shade and vacay
(And ni$&@s still hating) so much I need an AK

Around The Web


Chris Hardwick Talks ‘Funcomfortable,’ His Dad’s Personal Mantra, And Keeping A Crazy Schedule

Is There More To The Adam Walsh Story?

Stand-Up Comedy Scared The Hell Out Of Me, So I Decided To Give It A Shot

W. Kamau Bell On Joking With The KKK For CNN And Quoting Malcolm X In His New Special

Chef Jonathan Bennett Shares His Fourteen ‘Can’t Miss’ Food Experiences In Cleveland, Ohio

Jen Kirkman Talking About Her New Book Will Make You Want To Write Your Own

Your Travel Guide To Every ‘Archer’ Location On The Planet

Drifters Take Note: This Couple Has Crucial Advice For Long-Term Travelers

‘Rad’ Star Bill Allen Looks Back On Helltrack And That Iconic BMX Prom Scene, 30 Years Later

Key And Peele Talk About ‘Keanu,’ Why Cats Are Funny, And What They’ll Do If Fame Doesn’t Work Out

Meet Christine Sun Kim — The Sound Artist Who’s Changing The Way We Listen

Presented By
The All-New Prius

UPROXX 20: Jon Lajoie Wishes He Could Go Back In Time To Buy Netflix Stock, Just Like You