A Diehard Lakers Fan’s Very Real Plea To An Unfair NBA

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As the most storied, important and profitable franchise in sports history, the Los Angeles Lakers are the pinnacle of success. And yet they have to share their well-earned revenue with other, lesser franchises. It’s time to make the NBA fair again.

As a lifelong diehard Lakers fan when they’re a playoff contender, I’m fed up. Sports isn’t about sharing. Bernie Sanders ain’t president yet. Sports is about winning. And the Lakers win. They win attendance figures, merchandise sales and oh yeah, basketball championships. So why should the Lakers have to share their winnings with the losers and small-market teams? Why should the Lakers have to put ads on their jerseys just because some podunk hillbilly in Oklahonky can’t pay his arena’s lighting bills?

Let’s start with reasons why it’s already tough enough to be a Lakers fan:

  • Everyone hates you.
  • You show up to the game in the second quarter and don’t know what the score is.
  • The refs are out to get you.
  • Stephen Baldwin has better seats than you. What is he, in a new CSI spinoff or something? Does he think he’s better than me?
  • Sometimes those clip-on plastic Lakers flags we put on (when the team is winning) don’t fit on your Mercedes right and they make a clicking noise on the window when you drive.
  • Missing a quarter of action because you’re discussing with a friend what roads you took to drive to the arena.
  • Lowly peasant bandwagon Clippers fans sharing the same arena with you, let alone the same breath you breathe.
  • Your wife left you.


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