Dirk Is A Boss

By: 05.26.11  •  170 Comments
Dirk Nowitzki

Dirk Nowitzki (photo. Monte Isom)

You heard it in the classroom. You heard it from your uncles. You heard it from your momma. We’re not sure who Dirk heard it from, but we know it was in German: “If at first you don’t succeed…” and yeah, you know the rest. After missing an open three with the clock winding down in the fourth quarter and his team down two, Dirk had another look from behind the arc. Maybe previous versions of Dirk (since he’s become a robot) would’ve shied away from that second shot. But not this Dirk Nowitzki. And this Dirk Nowitzki was buckets – hitting the three that would give his Mavericks a lead they wouldn’t give up, beating the Thunder, 100-96, and punching their tickets to the team’s second NBA Finals in five years. The Dallas Mavericks are your 2011 Western Conference champions. Get used to it. Dirk was the beast they needed, from start to finish. Early on, he put a spin and dunk on Serge Ibaka where he must’ve asked him “Big fella, can you understand this language?” Boom. On his head. Even someone like Iblocka couldn’t translate that. Then after driving in the dagger that killed the West, Dirk walked out on the celebration. Like a boss … As Rick Barry said, we’d be “remiss” if we didn’t mention the gutsy performance by the OKC boys. Kevin Durant (23 points) came out hot like that bowl of chili out the microwave. But unfortunately for Thunder fans (and like that chili), he quickly cooled off as the contest wore on. Durant’s off? The Thunder are totally screwed right? Wrong. Enter Russell Westbrook (31 points, eight rebounds, five assists). This story was nearly about shutting up those media folks (ahem, ahem) that didn’t think Westbrook could win you a playoff game. Now the Thunder may not have won, but we think Russ proved his point. Remember when you were in preschool and recess hit? You went flying out the door to the swing set. Forget order, forget anything the teachers say. You were the man and you were gonna be first. That was Westbrook in the first quarter. He went from his own baseline to inside the opposing team’s three-point line in two seconds. TWO SECONDS. Kurt Thomas hasn’t made it past midcourt in less than two seconds since ’03. Did anyone catch Mark Jackson singing “Wild thaaang, you make my heart sing…” to Westbrook? Jackson just won American Idol … We wonder what the requirements were for being the voice-over for the talking basketball commercials. Imagine what those auditions were like. They need to do a parody of these with Charlie Sheen and a glass of gin … Keep reading to hear about the Beard, the Matrix and the JET

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