Joe Johnson Gets A Crazy Compliment; Dirk Gets Jiggy Wit’ It

By: 03.31.12
Joe Johnson

Joe Johnson, Dime #37

Well at least New York can say for sure that Carmelo Anthony is alive. Still, the Hawks beat them by 10 after withstanding an old school ‘Melo performance (36 points, nine rebounds). At one point in the fourth, after Joe Johnson (28 points) had rocked the Knicks to sleep on three consecutive pull-ups, we heard the Hawk announcers say, “When it comes to clutch shooters in this league, Joe Johnson has to be in the top two.” However the two biggest shots of the game came from Willie Green (8-for-9, 20 points). He shook J.R. Smith and hit a runner, and then canned a corner triple. Those shots pushed it to 94-84 with barely three minutes to go. This game was also probably the first time we’ve said the words “Willie Green” since AND1 MixTape Vol. 8 … The Hawks should just trade for Iman Shumpert. The former Georgia Tech baller loves him some ATL. He had 25 points, and was shooting like a seasoned vet. In fact through three quarters, ‘Melo and Shump had combined for 51 of New York’s 69 points … Joakim Noah (19 points, 12 rebounds) might’ve put the exclamation point on Chicago’s 12-point win over the Pistons with a facial over Jason Maxiell. But Stacey King definitely put the exclamation point on Noah’s dunk. That was the first time we’ve ever heard the infamous commercial line “DOES ANYBODY KNOW HOW TO POST VIDEOS TO… FACEBOOK?” in an NBA game. This cat is too much sometimes … Goran Dragic went off for 25 and seven in Houston’s nine-point win over Memphis, a game with enormous playoff implications … As we wrote yesterday, people need to start paying attention to Boston, especially if Kevin Garnett (24 points, 10 rebounds) keeps turning back the clock … It was pretty ironic that on the day where a few people tried to proclaim that Kevin Love (22 points, 11 boards) had officially reached Da Kid levels (Kevin Garnett for some of you young’ns), Minnesota had Vanilla Ice perform at halftime. You can’t make this stuff up … According to AP writer John Krawczynski, a fan hollered at KG to come back to Minnesota next year. Garnett responded, “No way.” … Utah and Al Jefferson (27 points, 16 rebounds) lost at home to Sacramento by one after their crazy tip-in off a missed shot from Gordon Hayward was just a split second too late … If all of our Jazz readers didn’t think we had some vendetta against Utah, we’d make a joke about how not even the Utah fans know what to do with Jimmer Fredette; they were veering back and forth again on whether to cheer or boo him. The Kings would love some help as well. They’re not sure what to do with him either. Their handling of the Jimmer this year looks like Steve Carell trying to put a condom on in The 40 Year Old Virgin … Washington just drilled Philly, 97-76. They were taking all of the usual absurd shots they normally take (Cartier Martin threes from 45 feet, Jordan Crawford fadeaway contested threes from the corner, etc.) but they were making them. Apparently Doug Collins destroyed the team at halftime, but it didnt matter. We almost felt as bad for him as we did Stephon Marbury after it was discovered Marbury couldn’t win the MVP of his league because he’s not Chinese (That’s not a joke either) … Don’t look now but the Wizards have now quietly held their last eight opponents under 100 points … And Gerald Wallace nearly broke the box score in the Nets’ 102-100 win in Golden State. While Deron Williams tied an NBA season high with 20 assists, Wallace had the game-saving block on Charles Jenkins, as well as 24 points, 18 rebounds, five assists, six steals and even two triples … Keep reading to hear what could’ve inspired Dirk last night …

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Dirk Nowitzki

Dirk Nowitzki (photo. Monte Isom)

Wow, the Magic f—- up. Bad. We’re talking whoever is in control of the timeout music. With Orlando up one, they played “Du Hast” from Rammstein. That’s a German band. Why would you ever play that when Dirk Nowitzki (28 points) has the ball and the chance to beat you? Play some Jada or something instead. Of course, Dirk went out and won it for Dallas – 100-98 – with a crazy fallaway off the glass. We wouldn’t have been surprised if Nowitzki walked around screaming “Du hast mich!” after that one … There was a point in the fourth quarter where the wrath of Ryan Anderson (21 points) surfaced. On one possession, Dirk absolutely decked him on a post-up, and yet Anderson was called for the foul. So on the other end, Anderson checked Nowitzki with an elbow on the backboards, and put the ball back in, screaming as he came up the court. We wish we could’ve seen Stan Van Gundy‘s reaction upon viewing the first time all year his power forward went strong to the boards … Nowitzki took another beating with Dallas up one with under a minute to go. He shot an air ball that eventually led to Jameer Nelson (24 points) tying it up after splitting a pair of freebies. From there, Dirk did his game-winning thing. Anderson and Turkoglu both had a chance to tie it and couldn’t come through … By starting fast – 38 points in the paint in the first half – and finishing strong, the Heat won in Toronto, 113-101. Late in the fourth, the Heat said “enough is enough” and hit Toronto with a 16-4 run, meticulously picking them apart. By the time the Heat were up 12 with under three minutes left, the fourth quarter score was Toronto: 10 … Wade: 11. By the end, Miami’s Big Three had combined for 86 points on 55 shots … Wade had a move in the first half where he crossed DeMar DeRozan back to Compton, and then finished with a tomahawk … We know we’ve pointed this out before but Toronto’s color guy, Jack Armstrong, is the WORST. Seriously, he is easily one of the five most annoying announcers in the league. He’s never pronounced an R before and is obsessed with DrakeChris Paul had 20 points, 14 rebounds and the game-winning layup, spoiling what would’ve been a wild game winner from Jamal Crawford, in the Clippers’ 98-97 win over Portland … Kyrie Irving dropped 29, and yet Cleveland was stampeded by the Bucks, 121-84 … And Kemba Walker nearly dropped Corey Brewer in the open court with an in-and-out move that Russell Westbrook would’ve approved of (we see you, Kobe), but the Bobcats predictably lost again, 99-88 to Denver, as Arron Afflalo had 19 points and 11 rebounds … We’re out like Stephon Marbury’s MVP.

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