The Golden State Warriors held their media day this week, which meant a chance for reporters and fans to get their first look at Kevin Durant in his new uniform having fun with new teammates.
There was a photographer on hand to capture all this, and some of the images with Durant playing around with Steph Curry and Draymond Green make you wonder what was happening in that moment. What were they saying? What were they laughing about? What were they thinking?
Good news: Using the power of photo interpretation and linguistic deduction, two things that are real skills that I didn’t just make up, I can tell you exactly what was happening just before the picture was snapped or why they chose that particular pose. Let’s go on this journey of discovery together.
Steph: He can’t see me, right?
Kevin: Nope.
Steph: Go ahead, Dray, hit me in the dick. It’s right there. I dare you.
Dray: I’m hitting dicks in virtual reality right now. Leave me alone.
Steph: TV show buddy cop pose?
Kevin: TV show buddy cop pose.
Steph: And so, his son is married to a guy, and he’s not always OK with it, and they adopted a girl, and-
Kevin: Stop, you’re killing me.
Steph: No, and, and, he’s married to Gloria, who is way too hot for him and says Jesus but it sounds like Cheeses because she has an accent.
Kevin: Oh my god, that is genius.
Steph: And Manny [uncontrollable laughter] is a kid, right? But he says and does things like an adult. [laughs more]
Kevin: Honestly I’m bored of this premise already.
Kevin: What’s he doing?
Steph: He’s trying to hit dicks again! Run, Kevin!
Draymond: Man, I’m just waving at some Care Bears.
Steph: Let’s do, “Playing it cool while staring into the crowd at a hot woman while we are on the road.”
Kevin: Did I leave the stove on?
Steph: [trying to muffle his voice] KD.
Kevin: What?
Steph: This is so sad.
Kevin: What is?
Steph: The photographer.
Kevin: What about him?
Steph: That’s Kevin Love.
