Matt Bonner: “The Punishment Doesn’t Fit The Crime”

11.17.10 7 years ago 15 Comments
Matt Bonner

Matt Bonner

Whenever you can gain some insight into a player’s mind off the court, there’s nothing better. And when that player is Matt Bonner, it’s the best. Long known for his admiration of sandwiches, the Red Rocket had a dilemma the other night in San Antonio: If he mixed up his shoe game for the fans, he’d be costing himself 700 sandwiches. What am I talking about? Jeff McDonald of the San Antonio Express-News has the story.

Spurs center Matt Bonner sat at his locker before a recent game at the AT&T Center, deep in thought and staring at his feet, as if contemplating some key piece of preparation for the night ahead.

Which, in a way, he was.

“Which pair of shoes should I wear?” Bonner finally asked, holding aloft a pair of Converse and a pair of New Balance.

Someone proposed he don one of each, a suggestion Bonner considered a few seconds before an eavesdropping teammate shattered the dream.

A mismatched shoe selection would violate the NBA’s uniform dress code, Manu Ginobili interjected, and could cost Bonner $25,000 in fines.

“Just think of how many sandwiches that is,” Ginobili said, referring to Bonner’s famously favorite form of sustenance.

And so, for the next 10 minutes, the Spurs’ starting guard and backup center set out to quantify exactly that.

Estimating (conservatively, he says) 700 sandwiches per year at $5 a pop, Bonner concludes it would cost seven years’ worth of hoagies to flout the NBA’s uniform rules for one night.

“The punishment doesn’t fit the crime,” he sighed, as the rest of the room disintegrated into laughter.

As one of the few endorsees of New Balance in the NBA, I’m sure his reps were happy that the threat of hoagie haplessness kept him from making a fashion statement.

What do you think?

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