Our Foolproof NBA Finals Picks Include An Idiot Who Thinks The Warriors Win In A Sweep

Draymon Green, LeBron James, Stephen Curry, Kyrie Irving

Jack Winter: Warriors in 5

Kyrie Irving and Kevin Love are back, J.R. Smith is shooting like Klay Thompson, and Channing Frye gives the Cavaliers a wrinkle they didn’t have this time last year. But none of it will matter. The Warriors aren’t just uniquely equipped to slow down LeBron James and his star teammates, but also have the myriad tools to take advantage of Cleveland’s inevitable defensive shortcomings. I hope this series is close. Seriously. Unless James finds his wayward jumper and emerges as the clear-cut best player on the floor, though, there’s little to suggest it will be.

Jamie Cooper: Warriors in 6

I don’t want to rehash everything that’s already been repeated ad nauseum both here and elsewhere, but the Cavs are certainly good enough to win at least one or two games. Or not. Who knows. They’ve adjusted their style seemingly out of nowhere and have a nice, fluid motion offense, but there are still pratfalls in their plan, namely on the defensive side of things. Regardless, LeBron has proven he can drag just about any team to a couple of victories by sheer force of will, so it’s hard for me to put that past him.

J.R. Smith, LeBron James
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Matt Rothstein: Warriors in 6

You know it all by now — Love and Kyrie will be tested on defense like never before, and they have no history that suggests they’ll be able to rise to that challenge. The Cavs’ only hope is to outscore Golden State, which I believe they can do twice at home. Upgrade this to a seventh game if Draymond gets suspended.

Sean Highkin: Warriors in 5

The Cavs have all their stars healthy this year, but I don’t like the way they match up with Golden State at all. The Thunder were able to be so effective against the Warriors because they got the best imaginable performances from all of their role players. The Cavs will need that to even be competitive, and the Warriors have the ability to make Kevin Love unplayable on the defensive end. Cleveland has nothing to match up with the Death Lineup — Love won’t be able to stick with Draymond Green, and it will fall on either J.R. Smith or Kyrie Irving to guard whichever one of the Splash Brothers Iman Shumpert doesn’t take. Last year, with Love and Irving out, the Cavs were able to keep the series close by reinventing themselves as a slow-it-down defensive group. Timofey Mozgov was one of their most important players in that series, and he’s been a complete non-factor in the playoffs thus far. The Cavs will get a game or two because LeBron is so tough to deal with, but I think it’s more likely this series is over in five than seven.

Golden State Warriors
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Tony Xypteras: Warriors in 6

This is rather simplistic logic, but the Warriors should probably win this series, and they have been incredibly consistent at doing what they “should” do for over a year now. They were the best regular season team last year, with the league MVP on their roster, and they rolled right through the playoffs and into an NBA Finals series against a (injured) Cavaliers team they should’ve beat. And they did. This year, they are heading into the Final relatively healthy after winning a historic 73 games over the regular season, followed by a grueling series against the Oklahoma City Thunder, but still featuring the back-to-back, first-time unanimous MVP. And now they’re going against a flawed Cavaliers team with questionable coaching and chemistry. So, yeah, I’m taking the Warriors until they give me a reason not to take them. Of course, their relative perfection will end sooner rather than later, they can’t continue on this run forever, but I just don’t think this Cavaliers team will be the ones to end it.

John Wilmes: Warriors in 6

They’re the better team and it isn’t especially close. But Golden State is bound to play tight and like less than themselves for a game or two, again, as they did in last year’s Finals and as they did through about half of the Western Conference Finals. LeBron James is more experienced with big moments, and his confidence in them trickles down to his teammates; although, Kyrie Irving, a born big-game hunter, is shot through with a killer instinct of his own, and is capable of Steph Curry-level scoring explosions that occur independently from James or anything else going on with the Cavs offense. These things will make the series more interesting, but ultimately the Warriors have the two best shooters in the game right now — maybe ever — and their victory is inevitable because of this, as long as they’re healthy. The Thunder stretched the truth of Golden State’s unbeatable setup until it almost snapped, but in the end, even the fastest, longest, most athletic and physically overwhelming defense in the playoffs couldn’t prevent Curry and Klay Thompson’s absurd shooting range. OKC dominated every aspect of the WCF save for three-point shooting, and still lost. Cleveland will fare worse.

LeBron James, Stephen Curry
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Martin Rickman: Cavs in 7

I feel like LeBron has been holding something back the entire season — and even throughout the playoffs — in anticipation of this matchup. He took this team to six games last June with himself, some duct tape, a paper clip, and Matthew Dellavedova’s caffeine-addled corpse. This year he has a healthy Kyrie Irving and Kevin Love (although Love’s defensive mishaps and struggles are well-documented), as well as shooters in Channing Frye and Richard Jefferson he didn’t have last year. LeBron won’t mention the pressure of bringing a title to Cleveland, but he knows full well what it would mean to do so, especially against a historically good Warriors team gunning for all-time greatness. Read between the lines on all the “I’m not watching” “I don’t care” “Steph’s the MVP” stuff Bron is saying, and you can tell he knows he won’t have too many of these chances left to show he’s the King. There either is some magic left in there from what has been the most transcendent basketball player of the past decade, or he’ll be passing the crown off to Curry for good. Either way, it’s going to be a hell of a series. Clashes like this deserve that, and not a sweep, and LeBron James is nothing if not one of basketball’s best showmen.

Spencer: Warriors in 4

Because Kevin Love has to play defense when he’s not standing around the arc on the other end.

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