Here’s Our Ranking Of The 30 Players Representing Their Teams At The Nike NBA Jersey Unveiling

On Friday evening, Nike and the NBA unveiled new technology that will move the league’s jerseys into the future with innovation. To go along with the grand announcement, the league brought a representative from each and every team to Los Angeles to model new “statement edition” uniforms, seemingly in an effort to produce excitement from fan bases.

However, in the spirit of NBA player rankings dominating the discussion in recent days, that prompted a thought bubble. How would the 30 players representing the various teams stack up against one another? Hilariously, some teams sent the cream of the crop while others, well, did not do just that.

At any rate, here is a thoroughly exhaustive yet only partially serious ranking of the 30 players in attendance. Before we get there, though, he is a sneak peak at each and every one in a visual medium.

30) Shane Larkin (BOS) – Larkin is perhaps the least notable member of the Celtics roster, and while he was a first round pick at one point, it was likely a surprise to many that he made an appearance.

29) JJ Barea (DAL) – It seems impossible that Barea is only 33 years old, but he is a legend after all.

28) Darius Miller (NOP) – The Pelicans’ wing rotation is…a challenge. Miller will be seeing the floor this year, even if you aren’t overly familiar with his work.

27) Denzel Valentine (CHI) – The former Michigan State star’s rookie season didn’t go according to plan, but there is room for redemption.

26) Rodney McGruder (MIA) – McGruder was tremendous for Miami last season, but unfortunately, the Heat signed, well, everyone.

25) Malcolm Delaney (ATL) – The Hawks won’t be very good this season, but the kids love their jerseys.

24) Dejounte Murray (SAS) – Murray might start at the point for a 60-win team this season. That’s decent enough.

23) Frank Ntilikina (NYK) – At least Knicks fans will be wholly rational when it comes to evaluating the young point guard.

22) Ben Simmons (PHI) – A former No. 1 pick this low? Okay, maybe this is aggressive, but rookies are bad. Don’t forget that.

21) DeAaron Fox (SAC) – We’ve at least seen Fox play basketball in the last 12 months.

20) Elfrid Payton (ORL) – It’s a big (contract) year for Payton, but his hair remains spectacular.

19) Julius Randle (LAL) – Randle remains relatively anonymous with Lonzo Ball and Brandon Ingram around, but he’s probably better at basketball right now than either of them.

18) Mo Harkless (POR) – The Blazers could’ve found someone more exciting, but hey, they really need Mo Harkless.

17) JR Smith (CLE) – Seriously, who doesn’t love JR?

16) Rodney Hood (UTA) – There was probably more attention on Utah’s choice of color scheme and jersey design than there was on Rodney, even if he can really play.

15) D’Angelo Russell (BKN) – It is really hard to rank D’Angelo Russell right now.

14) Tobias Harris (DET) – See above. (and the Pistons are weird).

13) Trevor Ariza (HOU) – No CP3. No James Harden. No problem?

12) Eric Bledsoe (PHX) – It is at least slightly weird that Bledsoe is here when he was shut down at the end of the season, right?

11) Khris Middleton (MIL) – Giannis or Jabari would’ve been sexier, but the blogosophere loves Khris Middleton with good reason.

10) Myles Turner (IND) – The Pacers may not be fun this year, but Myles Turner is.

9) Bradley Beal (WAS) – Beal made the leap a year ago and could (read: should?) be an All-Star in 2018.

8) Kemba Walker (CHA) – Shoot your shot, Kemba.

7) DeMar DeRozan (TOR) – We’ve all learned that ranking DeMar is a perilous exercise. Let’s just agree that he’s good.

6) Paul Millsap (DEN) – Nothing says “flashy new jersey release” like Paul Millsap.

5) Blake Griffin (LAC) – The Clippers are Blake’s team now, and this is a reminder.

4) Mike Conley (MEM) – How is Mike Conley still underrated?

3) Karl-Anthony Towns (MIN) – An aggressive color scheme can’t take away from Towns’ spotlight. He’s that good.

2) Paul George (OKC) – Not having the MVP here isn’t ideal, but Paul George is a nice consolation.

1) Kevin Durant (GSW) – Okay, those new Warriors threads are heat.