Here’s Gregg Popovich’s Plan For His Spurs To Finally Get Some ‘Street Cred’

Gregg Popovich is fed up with his San Antonio Spurs. Their precise execution, their seeming invincibility, their continued excellence are all well and good, but when something is so great for so long, it becomes a kind of dull greatness. Add in the fact that Spurs, up until recently, have never played the most exciting brand of basketball, and they’re left with the general consensus that they’re boring.

Pop agrees, and he’s had enough.

Okay, so he’s obviously joking, but it’s still pretty funny. It’s not the first time Pop’s “begged” his players to get into trouble and wipe away their goodie-goodie image. When Blake Griffin broke his hand in January, Pop called for his players to similarly stir up some trouble.

This begs an important question, one which we’ll attempt to answer here: Which Spur is most likely to get into a bar fight? Tim Duncan is obviously out, as is Boris Diaw (seriously, can you imagine Bobo even bothering to fight? He’d look at the situation, sip his coffee, then walk away). Kawhi Leonard is also near the bottom of the list, and the only reason he’s not at the very bottom is because any person as quiet as Kawhi is capable of a terrible berserker rage given the right circumstances.

Patty Mills doesn’t seem like much of a fighter, but if someone insulted Australia, he’d probably throw a punch or two. Same goes with Manu Ginobili for Argentina, LaMarcus Aldridge for Texas, and Matt Bonner for sandwiches. Really, the answer is pretty clear: Tony Parker. He’s already been at the scene of a scuffle or two, and suffered because of it. He may seem cool and collected, but we’re fairly certain it’s all a façade, and that lying just underneath it is a boiling rage that can never be quelled.