The All-Kim Kardashian Team: 5 NBA Marriages That Hit The Rocks

10.31.11 6 years ago 5 Comments
Allen Iverson

Allen Iverson

We all saw this coming. Maybe we thought it’d last for a year or so, perhaps just long enough to film another TV show, but it at least had a shot for that, right? Nope, this was inevitable. Kris Humphries will just have to do what he does for a living: rebound.

Kim Kardashian filed for divorce today from her new (I guess it’s now ex) hubby Humphries, and HumpDash is officially off. Too bad. We were really starting to like those two. Kardashian was reportedly pissed at Humphries’ “lockout work ethic” which basically included running from bar to club with his boys, feasting in the glow of the spotlight and the freedom of no basketball. So what if he was throwing himself an extended honeymoon? Let the man bask in his glory (he did pin down Kim K). Still, when Kim K calls you out on your work ethic, you have problems. Let’s just say she’s not Ari Gold.

Their marriage didn’t last, but it’s not the first. Here are five “marriages” from the past few years that truly didn’t work out in the NBA (I promise not to mention anything involving a dude named LeBron, or Brent Barry, Tony Parker and the San Antonio Spurs).


Gilbert Arenas In Orlando
You think I need to give him more time? That’s plausible. There are just a few problems. First of all, Dwight Howard doesn’t have much time left before free agency. If he doesn’t believe in you now, you better go through some major changes to convince him by next summer. Arenas is also turning 30 in January, and his three-point percentage dropped all the way to 27 percent in Disney World. For someone who’s gone through enough surgery to make even Hollywood proud, it’s not a good sign that his jumper is waning. Are his legs gone?

Perhaps Arenas starts at the two this year and turns it around, giving Orlando 15-17 points a night and finds his three-point shot again. But I’d be surprised.

[Related: 10 NBA Players In Need Of A Bounce-Back Season]

Detroit’s 2009 Spending Spree
They gave Ben Gordon $55 million. They gave Charlie Villanueva $35 million. That’s cake. $18 million a year going to two guys who don’t even consistently start for them anymore, and never really did. Basically, the year before LeBron signed in South Beach for $14.5 million for 2010-11 (just as Chris Bosh did), the Pistons spent a lot more and came up with less. Way less. Before they got to Detroit, Gordon and Charlie V. combined for just under 37 points a night. Last season, that number sat at 22.

Both of these guys are talented, and could possibly be worth the money in another situation. Detroit just has to suck it up: no matter what happens in the D, they aren’t getting a return on this investment.

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