Remember yearbooks? The day the powers that be used to drop those in middle school and high school always had people going crazy. Who won what? Where am I? What pictures did they use? At the time, they felt almost like journals. Later on, once you went to college or got a real job, found yourself and dropped the styles that made you look so stupid as a teenager, they became comical.
As the regular season draws to a close, it’s time we honor those who’ve earned our praise. But we’re not talking about the MVP, Coach of the Year or Most Improved Player awards. It’s time to dish out some superlatives to our NBA class of 2013. Here’s our league yearbook for the past season.
*** *** ***
Biggest Ego: MONTA ELLIS
When you put yourself on the same level as Dwyane Wade, you best not miss. But Ellis has missed, a lot. He’s shooting at the lowest clip of his career this season (41 percent), but at least he has helped the Bucks to a first-round exit against the Heat. Or maybe we’ll see if Monta Ellis really has it all.
Best Dressed: RUSSELL WESTBROOK
Westbrook was the favorite to take this award coming into the season, and he did not disappoint one bit. Not many people could rock this shiny sweater so well. Keep entertaining us Russ, on the court and the runway.
Most Dramatic: REGGIE EVANS
Back in November, Evans became the first player in league history to be fined for flopping. The Nets elite rebounder is one of the best actors in the NBA and has historically drawn calls for his ability to fall to the ground untouched. Vlade Divac, eat your heart out.
Best Hair: ANDREW BYNUM
The sort-of Sixers big man may not have graced the court in Philly this season, but his hair has been groomed at an All-Star level all year. If Bynum could’ve found a knee specialist as skilled as his barber, we might’ve seen the 76ers headed for the playoffs. Instead, we can only bask in the glory of his flowing locks.
Most Talkative: KEVIN GARNETT
Really, KG should get a lifetime achievement award in trash-talking. When you make headlines and garner the entire country’s attention for one of your quips, you’re going to be a shoe-in for this honor. How does this taste, Kevin?
Most School Spirit: KENT BAZEMORE
This may have been the closest race of the year outside of the scoring title, but I’ll give the nod to Bazemore. It was hard to discount Robert Sacre‘s amazing cheerleading this season, and even dark horse Patty Mills and his towel got some consideration. Bazemore just had that little extra oomph that put him over the top.
Best Friends: JEREMY LIN and CHANDLER PARSONS
Ever since Linsanity took his talents to southeast Texas, these two have become inseparable. The best of friends and forces to be reckoned with, these guys will be there for each other no matter what. Between sitting on the bench together, to sometimes being a little more than buddy-buddy, these two already look like lifelong friends.
Class Clown: JaVALE McGEE
Honestly, who else would you put here? Between his reckless plays and overall likability, it’s hard not to laugh at Tragic Bronson. He’s provided us with some hilarity all year and it’s time we honor that.
Most Likely to Succeed: LeBRON JAMES
After another historic season for James, it seems there is nothing stopping the Miami Heat this postseason. He seems to be more at ease with himself, and I can’t even imagine how much more poised he’ll be this time around with the monkey off of his back. The world is his for the taking.
What else would you add?
Follow Brent on Twitter at @brent_sanchez.
Follow Dime on Twitter at @DimeMag.
Become a fan of Dime Magazine on Facebook HERE.