The endlessly precocious Golden State Warriors are trying to accomplish something that many people thought would be impossible: tying or beating the Chicago Bulls’ single-season win record of 72-10. They’ve been on pace to do so for most of the season, and the looming reality of that feat has unsurprisingly become the source of both an insufferable Internet meme, and heated debate about how both teams would fare in one another’s eras if only our time-travel technology were more advanced, or we could somehow otherwise subvert the laws of the space-time continuum.
Given the limits of modern science, we instead endeavored to find out what the various Bulls players from those immortal second three-peat teams have been up to the past 20 years, using the primitive tools at our disposal (i.e. Google). Several obvious names are still heavily involved in the day-to-day operations of the NBA, while others have faded into relative obscurity. What follows is little more than a cursory glance at their lives and accomplishments (and foibles, in some cases) after the glory days of the Chicago Bulls’ second dynasty.
Between regrettable mustache choices and contractually-obligated Hanes undergarment commercials, the greatest basketball player of all-time hammered out a scheme that would allow him to keep tormenting players well into his golden years, i.e. by purchasing an NBA franchise and subjecting the guys on his roster to occasional ass-kickings whenever their 50-something-year-old owner decides he wants to feel young again.
As principal owner of the Charlotte Hornets, Jordan hasn’t exactly found the same measure of success in the basketball arena as he did during his playing days, which we can only imagine must be an endless source of frustration for the hyper-competitive six-time champ. But he has plenty of reasons for optimism given the way his current roster is assembled. And despite having a tough time getting his multi-million-dollar Chicago-area estate off the market, he seems to be getting by financially.