As I’m sure you’re aware by now, finding a new batch of Twilight publicity stills in my email inbox is as close to Christmas morning as it gets around here. Summit just sent over about eight new stills from The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 (including one of author Stephenie Meyer!), which opens November 16th, and I did my best to add context to them like always, but keep in mind, I’ve only seen bits and pieces of a couple of the Twilight movies on cable. NOTE: I’m NEVER GOING TO STOP MAKING PETER FACINELLI/MIKE DEXTER JOKES, DO YOU HEAR ME? NEVER!
OH, BALLA. AH REMAMBER FURST DAY AH SAW YEW IN TEH SCIENCE. HOW COULD ADWURD KNOW THAN THAT YEW WOULD SAHMDAY BAR MAH VAMPAHR BABAY? AH LAUVE YEW, BALLA. AH AHM SAWRY BABAY BRAKE YOUR SPINE, BUT AM HAPPAY YEW ARE VAMPAHR NOW.
BALLA GIVE TO YEW JEWELERRY, RENAZMAY. YEW ARE VARRY AMPARTANT VAMPAHR BABBAY AND YEW WARE THE SCARF.
DON’T SPARKLE TEW HARD, ADWARD, YOUR VAMPAHR SKIN MAHGHT BURN THE WAHLDFLEURS. OH. AH LAUVE YEW, ADWARD. AH LAUVE YEW, WAHLDFLEURS.
HALP ME, RENAZMAY. TAL ME WHY ADWURD CAN’T OPEN MAH EYES. IS IT BECAUSE AH AM VAMPAHR? USE YOUR TELEPATHIC. USE YOUR JEWELARRY.
RENAZMAY. READ THIS SANTENCE CORRACTLY AND THE LAMA FEED YEW CRACKERS.
OKAY, BALLA. TAHME TO LOOK STRONG. YEW ARE NO LONGER GURL IN HAHGH SCHOOL WITH TEH HART BURNZ. YEW ARE POWERFUL VAMPAHR. THE VAMPAHR POWERS BURNS INSIDE BALLA SO HOT MAKE EYEBALLZ YALLOW. COME AT ME, VAMPAHRS! NOT IF BALLA GAT YEW FURST!
“Time to take publicity photos? Ooh, I better look good for this. Here, hand me that slouchy hoodie two sizes too big.”