Lots of People Apparently Thought Justin Bieber Might Be In Batman

By 09.16.13

bieber-script

Over the weekend, Justin Bieber posted a picture of himself with an apparent script for Batman vs. Superman (which, surprisingly, is a real movie), commenting “#Robin.” While there is historical precedent for Robin being a girl (HAHA, I LOVE YOU, EASY JOKES1!), most non-morons realized through common sense that Justin Bieber would not being playing Robin to Ben Affleck’s Batman (the script was apparently a prop for a Funny or Die video).

That still didn’t stop lots of people from “wondering” aloud about it, though! Justin Bieber plus Batman? It’s a search engine’s wet dream! (Search engines ejaculate binary code).

Here’s an abridged guide to this curious reportaaage. TO THE SLIDESHOW! Dunna dunna dunna dunna dunna dunna dunna dunna PAGE VIEWS…

USA Today

Bieber-USA-Today

Well, technically it was *A* Batman vs. Superman script, not *the* Batman vs. Superman script, and saying that he read it just because he took a picture with it is a bit of a stretch, but as long as you turn it into a poll. “What’s your opinion about this fake news, reader?”

Fox News

Bieber-Fox-News

The best stories are always the ones with question marks in the headline and lede. I’m Ron Bergundy?

CNET

Bieber-CNET

Okay, so technically CNET at least pointed out that it wasn’t true, but I’m included it anyway for calling it “a fascinating idea.”

New Zealand Herald

Bieber-New-Zealand

I forgive them because they’re from New Zealand, but there’s no excuse for a “rock” pun.

The Independent

Bieber-theindepend

This one at least didn’t use “Batfleck” in the first paragraph.

Idolator

Bieber-Idolator

“Justin Bieber, boy wonder? Fans of his music would agree, but fans of DC Comics may soon have to decide for themselves.”

What? That lede has less fact than Tyler Perry’s guide to livin’.

Fuse

Bieber-Fuse

Let me answer that question for you: no.

Hollywood Gossip

Bieber-Hollywood-Gossip

Can you search engine optimize for question marks?

Hollywood Life

Bieber-Hollywood-Life

EXCLUSIVE DETAILS! Who’s your confidential source, common sense?

Comic Book Movie

Bieber-CBM

“Spideyboy” has the straight dope.

Daily Beast

Bieber-Daily-Beast

There are a million more of these, but I think you get the picture. Point is, search results lead content now, so be sure to tweet a lot about “huge boobs.”

 

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