Paul Blart: Zookeeper is our new cultural high-water mark

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05.17.11 38 Comments

THE TRAILER FOR KEVIN JAMES’ THE ZOOKEEPER IS FINALLY HERE AND IT LITERALLY HAS EVERYTHING! KEVIN JAMES ACTING SCHLUBBY! KEVIN JAMES DATING OUT OF HIS LEAGUE! KEVIN JAMES GETTING DUMPED FOR BEING SCHLUBBY!  KEVIN JAMES FALLING DOWN! MONKEY REACTION SHOTS!  KEVIN JAMES FAILING AT MANLY STUFF! KEVIN JAMES FALLING DOWN AGAIN! KEVIN JAMES DANCING! KEVIN JAMES RUINING A FANCY DINNER!  KEVIN JAMES ACTING LIKE A GORILLA!  KEVIN JAMES RAPPING WITH A GORILLA! BUT WILL KEVIN JAMES ACTUALLY THROW HIS POOP LIKE A CHIMP? FIND OUT JULY 8TH! IF YOU LIKE MEXICAN SITCOMS AIMED AT CHILDREN, YOU’LL LOVE THE ZOOKEEPER!

This movie had five screenwriters.  Five.  Five people came to unanimous agreement on all of this. I’m as baffled by this as Stonehenge.

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Vince Mancini is a writer, comedian, and podcaster. A graduate of Columbia’s non-fiction MFA program, his work has appeared on FilmDrunk, the UPROXX network, the Portland Mercury, the East Bay Express, and all over his mom’s refrigerator.

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