A Guide To Meeting Famous People

There is nothing like the sight of screaming fans surrounding an uncomfortable-looking celebrity to make one question the human condition. Ordinary, quite sane-looking people suddenly react like 13-year-old girls at a Justin Bieber signing. Except that these people don’t even have the excuse of being 13, or Justin Bieber fans. It’s almost painful, in a secondhand-embarrassment kind of way.

Come on, you're like 30.

The worst part about it is that often the famous person doesn’t even look like he’s enjoying the mass adoration. It would be one thing if people debased themselves by acting like children for the amusement of one magnificently smarmy bastard. At least then he’d be happy. But no, usually the poor celebrity just looks vaguely uncomfortable.  Awkward interaction of some kind occurs, and then poor Mr. or Mrs. Famous visibly tries to recover from having his or her personal space violated, while the fan tries to shake off the sudden, dread feeling of existential emptiness.

So how do you avoid this situation when you accidentally run into a famous person you admire? Well, you could always take the high road and greet the celebrity briefly and respectfully, or simply let them go about their business.

Hahaha. Yeah right. Realistically, you have several options for dealing with the famous, the simplest of them being…

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