Today in “News that Probably Isn’t True”, some Chinese guy is reporting that a remake of Karate Kid, Kung Fu Kid, is in the works, with Jackie Chan playing the Mr. Miyagi character and Will and Jaden Smith involved.
The source of the story is a site called Monkey Peaches, which sounds like some sort of euphemism for dog crap, or Tori Spelling’s tits. They say Han Sanping, the president of China’s state-run movie studio made the announcement during a speech at Peking University.
Of course, rumors about the Smiths being involved in Karate Kid from awhile back were later reported bogus, but if life has taught me anything, it’s that mouthpieces for repressive Asian regimes are always to be trusted. Like the time Kim Jong-Il killed a swarm of locusts with the glint from his pompadour. True story, dude is harsh.
I’m not saying North Korea and China are the same place, just that all Asian people look alike. What what? They tricked me into saying that.