HOW ROMANTIC
DRINKS ON MANNY! WICKED PISSAH!

SHLAMALAMALAMA SHOOT ME IN THE FACE

By 11.01.07

Hey!  You know what’s awesome?  Musicals!  Know what else is awesome?  Remakes!  Know what else?  Grease!  OMG I love Grease!  I love the music, shlammalammalammalamama dinga dee durp, LOL!

I know! Let’s do a remake of Grease, which already had a shitty sequel and is basically a remake of West Side Story, which was basically a remake of Romeo and Juliet, which was an old story even when it was written!  People love recycled crap!  With singing!

Michelle Pfeiffer tells News.com.au that she’s been offered a part in a remake of the classic 1978 musical Grease.
Michelle says there’s an older part for her in the film and she thinks redoing it is a great idea. A much better idea than Grease 2, which she also starred in and now hates. She says, “I hated that film with a vengeance and could not believe how bad it was. At the time I was young and didn’t know any better.”
She says they may want to get Jessica Simpson for the role of Sandy, and believes Jessica would be good. [CB]

I know I bandy (that’s right, I said ‘bandy’, what of it?) the word "hate" around a lot on here, but truly, nothing comes close to how much I loathe Grease. I hate Grease more than the holocaust. I hate Grease more than death, cancer, war, Nancy Grace, STDs, prudes, and Blue Collar Comedy put together. 

And Jessica Simpson?  …No. This had to be a joke.  In fact, I know it was.  Because if she was serious, the interviewer would’ve beaten her to death with a shoe.  And then s/he would’ve gone home and puked bile and sprayed blood from his eyes for 8 hours straight – not because of guilt or the sight of Michelle Pfeiffer’s brains on the sidewalk, but because he couldn’t get the image of a Grease remake with Jessica Simpson out of his head. 


TAGSCrapgreaseJESSICA SIMPSONMichelle PfeifferREMAKES

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