Opening This Weekend:
Beowulf – I’ve done enough posts on this one for my feelings to be well known. In fairness, it’s tracking 73% on RottenTomatoes, which is pretty good. But look at the picture. Why not just animate it if you’re gonna animate it? What’s with this half-assed motion capture crap? They look like mannequins. I’d also like to know how the hell you can have an R-Rated trailer for a PG-13-Rated movie. I thumb my nose, sir.
Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium – "Dustin Hoffman stars as the 243-year-old owner of the strangest, most fantastic, most wonderfully magical toy store in the world." With reviews like "Hoffman is the circus clown everyone avoids," I’m thinking this should only be seen by the very young and the very baked.
Love in the Time of Cholera – "In the complex and sensual city of Cartagena, Colombia, a man’s passion waits and endures over fifty years for his one true love." Javier Bardem is a certifiable badass, but this looks about as interesting as watching my grandma eat cream of wheat.
Southland Tales – The Rock, Stifler, Bai Ling, Vizzini, Sarah Michelle Gellar and some other people star in what looks like one of the strangest movies ever made. It’s getting horrible reviews, but I’m still strangely intrigued.
Redacted - Brian DePalma’s flick about war and the media. I’m not sure I trust a movie for which the trailer has almost zero video.