Willa Ford is… Anna Nicole.
I think I smell Oscar! …No, wait, that’s… shit. I smell human shit.
[Thanks to Israeli sex machine Ohad for the tip]
"DON’T CRINGE, YOU KNEW THIS WAS COMING"
There better be tits……bare tits
…well we all know how this is gonna’ fucking end.
Does the ship sink at the end?
I can’t wait to relive the zany antics of America’s favorite trailor trash!
If they don’t make at least two thirds of this movie a recreation of her lesbian bathtub scene from her Playboy video then they are committing a cinematic crime.
Sweet Jesus, drive sharp sticks into my eyes. Except that Willa doesn’t look like Anna Nicole, talk like her, act like her or snort drugs and do shots (or is that vice versa) this should be a very, very crappy movie.
i prefer kristy swanson as anna nicole in that ep of law & order. and not just because david cross played howard k stern. also because she got fat for the role.
I have nothing.
[Thanks to Israeli sex machine Ohad for the tip] Do Israeli sex machines have to do it through a hole in a sheet?
Don’t Cringe, You Knew This Was ComingThat’s exactly what I said to my wife the first time we made love.
Is this the one where the ship drowns in its own vomit?
…but who’s gonna’ play Clint Eastwood?
huh. i just imdb’ed it, and in a surprising touch of casting genius, they hired bobby trendy to play himself! i like the level of authenticity and organic realism they’re aspiring for.
Don’t Cringe, You Knew This Was ComingThat’s exactly what I said to my wife the first time we made love. And the next time, and the time after that…
Willa Ford is also playing the role of Larry Birkhead.
If the title of the next post is "Baby, Why Don’t You Stop Crying While We’re Having Sex" then I just know that Lance has been in my bedroom before… of course, that would explain the gigantic thumb-shaped bruises on my wife’s ass…
My name is Willa, my brother was a midget wizard who was eaten by Val Kilmer.
I actually think this would have been an awesome one-man-show for Phillip Seymore Hoffman.
Dont Cringe, You Knew This was ComingThats exactly what I said to the retarded fat girl outside the community library.
If they don’t have the scene were Anna vomits all over herself and all the fucking vultures around her just stand there and take pictures, then fuck this movie.
<— graphic arts major
Too much bullshit, not enough choking on vomit.
There had better be a very graphic sex scene with that geriatric husband of hers as well. His knee knocking balls slamming her in the chin as he nails her from behind with a 12" black strap on. Or some such. You know, to show the love they had.
If they don’t have the scene in which Princess Leia strangles Jabba on Tatooine then fuck this movie.
Or better yet, them going ass 2 ass like the flashlight scene in Requiem for a Dream! Qaplah!
This movie is going straight to VHS!Thats right, I said VHS. There is no way they can waste DVD material for this.
This would make an awesome double-feature with the latest Shia LeBouf project, Hold Me Closer, Shiny Dancer: the Patrick Swayze Story.
[Thanks to Israeli sex machine Ohad for the tip] Do Israeli sex machines have to do it through a hole in a sheet? Only if the camel demand.
Zog have sex with Anna Nicole Smith once. Zog ate Anna Nicole Smith Coyote because she fall asleep before Zog finish.
Thanks to Donkey Hodey, I just peed myself.
Is "I eat your coyote" the new "I drink your milkshake"?
Zog like milkshake, but Zog LOVE coyote.Zog eat Jacktion! coyote while Jaction! anus bleed.
I cannot wait to get fat, overdose, die, then go see this movie.
I have renewed respect for Willa Ford’s breasts, and greatly lessened respect for the woman attached to them.
BREAKING NEWS:the exhumed body of George Burns will be playing the role of J. Howard Marshall.
Willa Ford? REALLY?What, Britney was unavailable?
I know that I am now cumming. Har har har.
That movie looks like it was shot entirely in my garage.
Do Israeli sex machines have to do it through a hole in a sheet? You can do anything through a hole in the sheet. its science, baby
Wow.The most anticipated movie of the year. You mean moreso than that Paris opera?
Do you ever get that feeling, sometimes, where you think: Wait, maybe the terrorists are right? Blow up the whole she-bang. We’ll start a new society, with Kevin Costner as the Postman, of course.
I think Trimspa did hur in. Have you ever tried it? Shit fucks up up good, son. Seriously though, I thought I was done caring about Anna Nicole. Her death was the ugliest thing for months (until Brittany stepped in), but then I said, "Hey me, at least it’s over." But nooo…
Anna is beautiful. Can’t wait for her next movie. I saw her hot pics on a millioniare dating site called Richkiss.com. Was it her? I’m not sure. Charlie sheen said he found great dates there before. Maybe the celebs all like that special site.
I’ve been gone all fuckin day and this is what I return to? WTF?
Wait, who fucking did this?
Fek, I know I’m behind the curve but you haven’t read Watchmen? WTF?
Oh, Hi erswi. What can I say? I spend a lot of time masturbating.
This is fucking beautiful, I love MySpace: Text Message from Leon aka Ronald LEFTED ME SICKEND Body: I had a text message I did not understand and was asked to send to my friends and I did BUT IT WAS A RACIST MESSAGE I DID NOT KNOW WHAT ITS MEANING NOR DID I KNOW IT WAS HATEFUL AND SHIT OTHER WISE I WOULD NOT HAD SENT IT..LEON AKA RONALD KNOWS I AM FRIENDS WITH SOME OF HIS FRIENDS ANDI HAD SENT IT TO A FRIEND OF MINE AND SHE TOLD ME TO LOOK IT UP AND WHEN I DID I WAS SICK TO MY STOMACH, I CAN’T BELIEVE A BLACK MAN WOULD SEND ME A HATEFUL SAYING ON TEXT MESSAGE,THE MESSAGE WAS TOWARDS BLACKS AND GUESS WHAT LEON AKA RONALD IS BLACK AND HE HAD SENT ME A MESSAGE SAYING SOMETHING ABOUT U KNOW I AM NOT REPEATING IT NOW THAT I KNOW WHAT IT MEANSLEON U R BLOCKED FROM MY PAGE DON’T TEXT ME ANYMORE OF THESE HATEFUL MESSAGESI HAD READ WHAT IT MEANS A FRIEND OF MINE ASKED ME TO LOOK IT UP AND WHEN I DID I FELT LIKE I WAS ABOUT TO THROW UP I DON’T HAVE A HATEFUL BONE IN MY BODY AND I WAS NEVER EVER RACIST TOWARDS ANYONEI CAN’T BELIEVE THIS WHEN HE HAD SENT ME THAT MESSAGEI WONT TELL YOU WHAT HE HAD SAID CAUSE I DON’T CARE FOR THAT KIND OF TALK BUT A REAL CLOSE FRIEND OF MINE KNOWS CAUSE SHE IS THE ONE I UNKNOWINGLY SENT THE MESSAGE TOWARDS HER AND FOR THAT SISTA IM SO SORRY NOW I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS AND IT JUST MAKES ME SO SICK
BTW, erswi, if you never checked out eib’s "fatchicksinpartyhats" website, you SO need to go. I pissed myself laughing (literally).
Its so funny
I’ve seen it. Now you must read Watchmen. Immediately!
Eib, what are you doing out of your cage up past your bedtime?
Well, erswi, I have some Mystery Science Theater DVDs to take back to the library, they might have the picture book for retards there.
I read Confessions of an Opium Eater today and dude, am I wasted. Kerplunk!
I get this strange feeling that when Seth Rogen looks in a mirror, he sees Lance and not himself.
Oh shit! Let’s start a Filmdrunk FIght Club, but instead of fighting with fists, you duel with Magic cards!!!!
That is the one graphic novel that I am totally in like with. I could care less about most every picture book for retards out there but Watchmen is a 20th century classic.
Fuck this, He is going to bed.
erswi, I would ask to borrow yours, but I am sure the pages are stuck together.
I love comics. Can’t help it.
And poetry too. Which pretty much makes it obvious that I’ll never get a COTW again. I’m as funny as chiropractic dentistry.
Hey now, comics are awesome. I never read Watchmen, but will have to now.
And poetry rocks. I used to memorize a poem a day in high school. for fun.
Should have said gynocological dentistry then I could have talked about a vagina with polio.
Hey mofo. Don’t be jackin mah shit!
I’ve been memorizing poems and I’m getting one published next month. Cool, eh? Well, not so much, but hey my Mum is proud of me now. Go parental un-un-proudness.
I’ve had a poem published before, in a collection when I was at Southeastern Louisiana University.
When the ice caps melt and my word-skills are worth the creative writing degree I have, then I’ll still be able to rent my uterus out to some strongman. Grrrr…future plans for survival.
Eib, you must read Watchmen. It should be required reading for all the FD faithful.
A Swedish rap artist just asked to be my friend on myspace. What street cred do Swedes have? Their high suicide rate? Go get a tan, or a country that won’t pay for your bullet removals you socialists. Canadian pot calling the kettle Swede.
Having poetry published is something to be proud of.
Unless your Michael Madsen, or Ally Sheedy, or Jewel
Thanks Eib. I just don’t know how I’m going to feed myself while writing poetry. Maybe I’ll release weird videos about Anna Nicole Smith, or combine my talent with ANS:There once was a whore from Nantucket…
Ally Sheedy wrote poetry?
Was she bulemic at the time? Was it part of her purging ritual?
Breakfast club was greatthen I ate too much fat foodplease, god, make me thin
George Lucas, lesbowith plaid shirts, don’t eat my brain.Get neck surgery.
Whores from Nantucketnever get playboy contracts,but I did. Ha. Ha.
I just wrote haikus.Please, don’t hold it against me. Unless it is hard.
Alrighty then. G’night all. I’m gonna go jack it.
The only graphic novel I’ve ever read was Maus. I never looked at my cats the same way again.The only poem I’ve ever had published was by a web site full of limericks about current news stories. Mine was about William Shatner finding his wife dead in his pool (if you’ve never heard the tape of his 911 call, find it). I still remember roughly how it went: After marrying her on a whim,Shatner learned his third wife couldn’t swim. Paramedics then cameOne was heard to exclaimAs he parted, "It’s worse than that, Jim…"
EXTRRRRRRRRRREEEEME DURST! BOOOOOOSSSSSHH!
What the fuck? Do I get the soggy cookie?
This is more like “Pants Off Dance Off: The Movie”.
Lance’s thumb is a thumb puncher.
The only thing I ever had published was in the Missoulian. I was 12, my Mom was very proud.
Way to go AGB, that’s very cool. I have a recipe that’s being published in a cook book…I haven’t seen it yet, they probably made it 4pt type : ( and it doesn’t rhyme, so really it’s not nearly as cool.
I’d cringe, but what’s the point – there isn’t enough cringe in the world for this.
so you dn’t get it
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