You knew this was coming. In response to the online petition begun this week to get Uwe Boll to stop making movies, the director has released the above video. Full transcript:
"So hi here, sir, Uwe Boll, and I have a statement to make about ze internet petition. Zere’s a petition out to stop Uwe Boll, and I said if zere are 1 million, on ze petition I stop actually making movies. And I want, zat zere is a petition also out zere like a PRO-BOLL petition and I expect a million votes, Pro Boll. And I hope somebody would set it up, and you all start signing it. Because look, I am not a fucking retard like Michael Bay or ozza people running around in zat business, or Ellie Ross [Eli Roth, maybe?] making the same shitty movies over and over again. If you really look at my movies, you will see my real genius. And if you go on May 23 on Postal, you will see zat I deliver a movie, what NOBODY else deliver in ze last ten years. What is way better zen all zat social critic George Clooney bullshit what you get every fucking weekend. So you have to wake up and you have to see me what I am, I am ze only genius in ze whole fucking business. Goodbye.
I’ve never actually watched a Boll movement, but if he quits the business, I’ll really miss videos like this. Therefore, please sign my Pro-Boll petition. It’ll be just like when my brothers and sisters and I banded together in order to convince mom to wear panties. Except hopefully successful this time.
On related note, I find it strange that a megalomaniac like Hitler would come out of Germany. They seem like such humble people.