ANN COULTER FOUND BEATEN AND STABBED
THE BRONCOS SUCK

THE HOFF HASSELED BY GIANT SNAKES

By / 10.21.08

Anaconda 3: Offspring (‘They can taste your fear’) hits DVD shelves today, and after the jump I’ve got your first clip.  While no one matches the panache of Ice Cube in Anaconda 1 (“So zactly how beeg… is dis snake?”), there are still a couple things to look for in this clip.  First, the Hoff shouting, “Nobody wanted this, man!” at about the 1:14 mark, channeling Bill Paxton in Aliens.  He then adds utterly nonsensically, “I’ll tell you a little about the military in this country:  They’re about as reliable as a bottle of Jack at an AA meeting.”

Huh.  Well personally, I’ve always found bottles of Jack to be rather lazy, but maybe I’m thinking of Jose Cuervo… Anyway, the Hoff finishes off his big monologue with yet another confusing one liner:

“You got two choices: you go home with a great snake story, or you go with me.”

Dammit, man, you can’t imply that they’re mutually exclusive!  Did you learn nothing in cheesy b-movie pickup line school?  Amateurs. Observe:  “Stay here if you want, but if it’s a great snake story you’re after, you can always come home with me.” Let me know if I need to F her for you too.

[Thanks to Robo for the tip]


TAGSANACONDA 3CLIPSDavid Hasselhoffthe hoff

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