Haha, hi, kids! Let’s pretend this isn’t super weird!
Nickelodeon’s annual festival of good-clean-fun porno and pretending kids have a say in what entertainment gets fed to them happened last night. As you can imagine, it was the usual mix of who’s that?, I hate them!, and why is Will Ferrell embarrassing himself like this? Anyway, this creepy ode to pandering and borderline child porn seriously skeeves me out, so I’m just gonna post the winners, a few pics, and a video for your perusal while I go take a shower. (Think I’m overreacting? I dare you to watch until the 2:27 mark of the video after the jump where Marlon Wayans asks Miley Cyrus if she’s wearing a thong and not be weirded out).
High School Musical 3: Senior Year
Favorite Male Movie Star
Will Smith, Hancock
Favorite Female Movie Star
Vanessa Hudgens, High School Musical 3: Senior Year
Favorite Animated Movie
Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa
Favorite Voice from an Animated Movie
Jack Black, as Po, Kung Fu Panda
“Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It),” Beyonce
Favorite Male Singer
Favorite Female Singer
Favorite Music Group
Favorite TV Show
Favorite Reality Show
Favorite Television Actor
Dylan Sprouse, The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
Favorite Television Actress
Selena Gomez, Wizards of Waverly Place
Favorite Male Athlete
Favorite Female Athlete
Favorite Video Game
Guitar Hero World Tour
I want more like this!
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