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PATTON OSWALT MAKES ME JIZZ RAINBOWS

By 03.17.09

I rip off Patton Oswalt constantly because I love him so much, but I swear I hadn’t read his blog about Watchmen before writing my review.  And you know I’m telling the truth because otherwise my review would’ve been better.

“You’re all going to go see it, you resentful nerd mafiosi. And you’ll walk in rolling your eyes and you’ll walk out whistling sadly through your teeth because the fuel of the Nerd Mafia is disappointment and exclusion.

Tell you what — before you go and see THE WATCHMEN, plunk down and watch CATWOMAN, GHOST RIDER and DAREDEVIL. And use those seven hours (and don’t pretend like you don’t have seven free hours in your day) to get out all of your disgust and the-world-owes-me-my-daydreams-made-real attitude you strut around with.

Because Zack Snyder STEPPED UP, motherf–kers. THE WATCHMEN was going to get made, one way or another. And instead of bleating on his Facebook status updates or Tweeting about how sh–ty the upcoming adaptation’s going to be, he TOOK THE BULLET and tried to do it right. Yes, THE WATCHMEN should be a limited series on HBO and blah blah blah IT WAS NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN THAT WAY. Zack delivered a 2 1/2 hour, honest attempt, and broke his ass cranking out tons of free extras. Hell, he even animated The Tales of The Black Freighter for you chumps. Plus, he gave you a kick-ass DAWN OF THE DEAD remake, plus 300, plus whatever else he’s got coming down the pike. He’s the best friend the Nerd Mafia’s had since Joss Whedon and Brian Michael Bendis, so everyone please crack the tab on a frosty can of Go F–k Yourself and go see the movie version of THE WATCHMEN.” [via Patton's MySpace Blog]

I urge you to read the whole thing because it made my wiener tingle.  See that?  I just used MY blog to point out SOMEONE ELSE’s blog.  What would the world be without my contributions?  Suck on that, you fag cancer doctors.


TOPICS#PATTON OSWALT
TAGSBEEG FAWKEN BONERSNERD MAFIAWATCHMEN

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