Some of the promotional items handed out by Kirk Cameron and his being-gay-makes-me-want-to-love-Jesus-HARD film Fireproof included this fetching “I heart my marriage” t-shirt, seen here being modeled by sexy arrestee Brad Gellert. See if you can guess where this story’s going. In fact, see if you can guess where it took place.
A Florida man was arrested for allegedly choking his wife during an argument in their Tampa-area home. According to a police report, the 32-year-old financial consultant got into an argument with his wife and “screamed at the victim and threw numerous items.” He then allegedly “grabbed the victim’s neck and strangled her,” which “prevented the victim from breathing normally.” [as strangulation so often tends to do] Gellert’s wife subsequently fled the couple’s Apollo Beach home and went to a nearby sheriff’s office to report the incident. Investigators noted that the woman had been “taken to the ground by the arrestee [clearly employing the "ground & pound" method of spousal abuse] and suffered an abrasion to her knee and red marks on her neck.” [TSG]
Little known fact: the eleventh commandment was actually “Thou shalt not make your husband have to choke a bitch.” And I confess, I’d probably choke my wife too if she made me watch Fireproof. Just sayin.