Most of today’s movie news is about which directors may or may not be doing which sequels to movies that aren’t even out yet and boring crap like that. Luckily FilmDrunkard Randy was kind enough to send me the movie poster you see on the left. On the right, Malin Akerman in Couples Retreat, in which she stars opposite a slew of A-listers. It’ll be her third movie this year after Watchmen and The Proposal, both of which earned or will earn $100 million dollars plus. And on the left… Heavy Petting. From 2007. I can’t believe that’s a real movie poster. And just to reiterate, that is actually the real movie poster. The tagline ends “and the dog that stands between them.” Yet the dog isn’t even between them. And it’s just a disembodied dog, it’s not like they would’ve had to make it sit still.
Naturally I also had to find the trailer. I started watching it, and at first I was all, “I can’t believe this doesn’t have a record scratch,” and then at 2:10, BOOM, there’s the f-ckin record scratch. Plus it has two whip cracks and a dog covering its eyes with its paws. Looks like I know what I’m doing tonight.