Okay, folks, it’s comments of the week time again, and this time I’ve got prizes to give away. First place gets a Thirst poster autographed by the director and the soundtrack, three runners up win the soundtrack. Thirst opened in select theaters on Friday. You can see when it will be in your queer town here.
The way COMMENTS OF THE WEEK works is: at any time this week, when you read a comment you think worthy of recognition, YOU nominate it by copy and pasting it in the comments section below. I pick the winner from among the nominees the following Sunday/Monday. (To help you find it more easily, the nomination thread is always linked in the ABOUT section).
FIRST PLACE – from the Donkey Hodey.
Donkey Hodey says:
Donk: “How do you shoot women and children?”
Cameron: “Easy, you just use softer lighting!”
RUNNERS UP: From the DJ CARUSO TO DIRECT ‘DEAD SPACE’ post, Robopanda rose to my challenge to come up with a more generic movie pitch than Dead Space:
I accept your challenge: A headstrong, hot (but not too hot) 30-something career woman gets cheated on by her hot boyfriend and realizes she’s been in love with her hot coworker with whom she’s had an unexplained rivalry throughout the first two acts. Also, they’re all zombies. 40 Dresses Later – in theaters this Secretary’s Day.
Meanwhile, in the APATOW PLANNING RAAAAAAAANDY MOVIE thread, mreverdred01 was all over my ass like anal warts. I mean, like a big gay dude. No wait! I mean like my man jizz! Wait, no! Damn these Freudian similes!
You tend to say something along the lines of, “this movie sounds terrible, but at least it doesn’t sound as bad as this movie:” with a link to a worse-sounding movie. I followed the MacGruber link in this video and in that article you said, “I guess it can’t be worse than View-Master” with a link to a View-Master article. So I went to the View-Master article and in that you say, “After having previously reported on studios going forward with movies about Candyland and Bazooka Joe, nothing should surprise me at this point.” It ends with Candyland and Bazooka Joe, meaning those two movies must be the lowest of the low and nothing can get worse than them. I’m expecting to see those two on the IMDB top 100 worst movies list now.
Eh oh, lookata powers of obsavation on dis guy. For my final runner up, I had to go with Deux-Deux-Deux in the FEI FEI THE CHINESE SUNGLASS DOG thread:
Deux-Deux-Deux says: I think Fei-Fei’s just in disguise to avoid being eaten.
“Hey, mistal! You see dericious rooking dog lun through heele?”
“Ree went rataway!”
What can I say, there was just something about the way he combined crude racial stereotypes with The Jetsons that did it for me. Congrats, winners. EMAIL ME YOUR ADDRESSES TO COLLECT YOUR PRIZE.
And now, the HONORABLE MENTIONS (some of these might be funnier than the winners – choosing comments of the week is a real Sophie’s Choice. I think. I never saw that movie.):
Michelle07 says: I thought he was only down with Opie.
Påüłÿ Ðąηgęrσűşľγ says: I think James Lipton should have asked the question that was on everybody’s mind: Did he f*ck his bong?
Påüłÿ Ðąηgęrσűşľγ says:
Pauly’s Girlfriend: I’m pregnant.
Pauly: Well, let’s go see the gynecologist. Just to be sure…
[in Pauly's car]
Pauly’s Girlfriend: Why are we going to Mexico?
Pauly: [whispers] Shhhhhhhhhut the f*ck up….
MarkitZero says: “Hey girl, do you wanna 76 later? That’s where only our backs touch so we don’t succumb to temptation.”
Påüłÿ Ðąηgęrσűşľγ says: You would hate Hollywood too if you had 3 wives asking you what’s happening in the movie you’re watching every 10 minutes.
ChinoMoreno says: So it’s not garlic that Bella has to watch out for but ginger?
Food humor. Adorable. From the PUNK YOUR DINOSAUR music video thread:
Chino Moreno says: Know what killed Dinosaur rap? The Vanilla Ice Age.
From the RACHEL LEFEVRE RESPONDS thread – I wish I’d thought of this caption:
Dick Trickle says: Can you do me a Lefevre and take off your bra?
And finally, this one needs no context so I’m not going to give any:
Donkey Hodey says: Pumpkins make awesome sex toys. You can have your fleshlight, I’ll take my Jack-O-Lantern. It feels so gourd.
Thanks to everyone who brought the funny this week, and that includes a lot of people who didn’t make the list.