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TWILIGHT HAS DOOMED US ALL, PART 2

By / 09.28.09

Presumably in the hopes of exploiting that huge “how do I become a vampire” market that Google recently exposed, “Urban Collector” has begun selling an energy drink that looks like a blood transfusion.  Because abstinence can be tiring, but this will help you regain that youthful ‘sparkle.’  Okay I’ll stop now.

Blood Energy Potion: the world’s first synthetic blood beverage. The fruit punch flavor packs 4 hours of energy along with iron, protein, and electrolytes. Not only does Blood Energy Potion have a similar nutritional makeup to real blood, but it has the same color, look, and consistency of blood. Get real blood nutrients without that real blood taste! The re-sealable transfusion bag style pouch provides the convenient delivery of fluids for vampires and humans alike!  Contains no real blood, just synthetic! [UrbanCollector]

It goes without saying that I’d rather drink milk out of a c’ck-shaped carton than this, but I imagine it might appeal to the target market of teenage girls, sedentary, functioning illiterates, and sorority chicks who appreciate the larger font.  But the question remains: Is it safe for cats?


TAGSBLOOD ENERGY POTIONTwihardsTwilightVampires

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