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FALCON NEVER FLEW, WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA

By 10.15.09

(I would say it’s weird that the kid even turned out to be Asian, but since he never actually flew I guess the comparison’s invalid.)

I was worried I’d look like an a-hole for saying the whole balloon boy story was starting to look like a publicity stunt earlier today if it turned out he’d fallen to his bloody death.  Luckily, he was found alive and this whole story was kind of a waste of time.

The 6-year-old Colorado boy who is believed to have set adrift a helium balloon Thursday, prompting ground and air searches, has been found alive, authorities said.  The balloon landed south of Prospect Springs, Colorado, on Thursday afternoon.  He was found in a box in the attic at his family’s Fort Collins home, according to authorities. [CNN]

That’s funny, a box in the attic is where I keep my six-year-olds. Anyway, it only took about an hour for the world to realize this family are weird attention whores, so while this is all the news we’ve got for now, breathe easy in the knowledge that a child is safe, and in another three or four hours, the world will have another Jon and Kate.  Falcon goes to rehab by 16, bet on it.


TAGSBALLOON BOYFALCON HEENEUP

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