Variety reports that Scorpion King director Chuck Russell is set to do a $70 million, 3D re-working of Arabian Nights, aka 1,001 Nights. Here’s the plot of the original (which varies, but these are the basics):
A Persian king begins to marry a succession of virgins only to execute each one the next morning. Eventually the vizier, whose duty it is to provide them, cannot find any more virgins. Scheherazade, the vizier’s daughter, offers herself as the next bride and her father reluctantly agrees. On the night of their marriage, Scheherazade begins to tell the king a tale, but does not end it. The king is thus forced to postpone her execution in order to hear the conclusion. The next night, as soon as she finishes the tale, she begins a new one, and the king, eager to hear the conclusion, postpones her execution once again. So it goes on for 1,001 nights.
Now, here’s the Hollywood version:
In a new spin on the classic, the story follows a young commander who, after his king is killed in a palace coup, joins forces with Sinbad, Aladdin and his genie to rescue Scheherazade and her kingdom from dark powers.
BUT WAIT, THAT’S NOT THE FACEPALM PART!
“Through the use of a new generation of visual technologies, we will be able to quite literally take audiences around the world on a magic carpet ride,” Russell said.
A literal… magic carpet ride. I’m speechless. How does a person this dumb have a job that doesn’t involve mopping?
[alternate, NSFW banner pic here]