(EATING SUSHI OFF NAKED CHIX: UR DOIN IT WRONG.)
Someone just sent me this picture of David Blaine, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Tobey Maguire, which is probably pretty old, but it was new to me. Even beyond featuring David Blaine, the full picture (this is just the top half) is pretty disturbing, and as soon as I saw it I really wished I hadn’t. I’m only sharing it with you guys because I needed to spread the pain around. Be warned, the full picture is NSFW for Tobey Maguire peen — or possibly, and I really hope this is the case, peen Photoshopped onto Tobey Maguire’s body. The full picture is here and Jesus why did you click that? Did you not hear what I just said about Tobey Maguire peen? Oh Christ, there’s also Blaine balls. Hey guys, I didn’t see you there at first. I don’t know about you, but I always imagined Tobey Maguire’s scrotum to look more, I dunno… boyish and… youthful. Cherubic, say. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go curl into the fetal position on the floor of an icy shower. Not because of the picture, that’s just how I spend most afternoons.
It does indeed appear to be fake: