Second perhaps only to that New Mexico soccer player video I’ve pleasured myself to so many times, my favorite sports-related story of the year was the rumor that A-Rod has a painting of himself as a centaur hanging over his bed. Which, for the record, would be awesome. Naturally, when MTV interviewed Rodriguez’ girlfriend Kate Hudson, they decided to ask her about it, because there’s really else nothing interesting about her. This was the exchange:
HUDSON: That is the craziest thing anyone has ever asked me.
MTV GUY: You’re not answering the question.
HUDSON: I would never indulge in something so ridiculous.
MTV GUY: This was in a reputable magazine. …Us Weekly. (laughs) [Ed. Note: This is him giving you an out, dummy.]
HUDSON: That’s… No. I don’t “indulge” in those types of stories. As humorous as you might think they are.
Oh you don’t? That’s so noble of you. Keep taking the high road there, chick-who-co-stars-with-Dane-Cook-and-makes-movies-about-treasure. If you want to defuse rumors, a simple “no” and a giggle would suffice. As for what you just said, I’m translating it as, “Of course the rumors are true, and did you know I’m a humorless bitch?”