"Still I Feel Like My Problems Are Great..."
DRY MY LAUNDRY, OPTIMUS PRIME

CANCER CURE CAN WAIT, 3D PORN COMES FIRST

By 01.29.10

(“CHECK OUT HER BOX!!!”)

Friends, family, fat people…the future is upon us. Forget your iPads (Apple hates a heavy flow) and human genomes: 3D porn is near. Even more overwhelming, Caligula director, Tinto Brass is the wonderful pervert wanting to go down in jerk mags as creating the first-ever 3D pornographic production. Hilariously enough, for Brass, a 3D porno would also historically mark the first 3D film ever made in Italy.

Brass said that with the film he plans to “revisit an abandoned project about a Roman emperor that was ruined by Americans, and go from there,” a reference to “Caligula,” which he has criticized because of hard-core sex scenes added during postproduction without his consent. [THR]

Well great, as if I already didn’t spend enough time masturbating in a computer chair. I guess I better break out those delivery menus. And come to think of it, is 3D porn really something we need? I mean really, unless you’re an extra on Waterworld who the hell masturbates with goggles on? Protectively, I guess they’re a great idea, but do I really need some guys phantom nuts swinging in my face to get the full effect? Once again, it looks like I’ll have to turn to Spider-Man, circa 2001, for advice: “With great power cums comes great responsibility.”

-chodin


TAGS3DCALIGULACHODINPORNOTINTO BRASS

Join The Discussion


[avatar]

Join the discussion. or Register





Powered by WordPress.com VIP