(“The Civil War is over, Lebowski. The bums lost. THE BUMS LOST!”)
Variety reports double good news today, as the Coen Bros’ True Grit is scheduled to open Christmas Day, while their previously scheduled remake of Footloose has fallen off the release calendar. Other reports have Jeff Bridges playing the lead (read: The Dude as an eyepatch-wearing drunk) with Josh Brolin and Matt Damon in supporting roles.
For the unfamiliar, True Grit follows a 14-year-old girl, who tags along with a U.S. Marshal, Rooster Cogburn (Bridges) as they attempt to track down her father’s murderer, who is something of a drunk. But the murderer is not anyone that the police want to mess with, so Rooster is all she’s got. A Texas Ranger named La Boeuf [Damon] also joins the manhunt; Cogburn and La Boeuf dont’ care for each other, but in the pursuit of the murderer [Brolin], they bond. The 1969 John Wayne movie was told from the perspective of Cogburn; the Coens version, like the novel, will tell it from the perspective of the 14-year-old girl (presumably, like the novel, as an extended flashback). [Pajiba]
Anyone whining about Hollywood ‘ruining’ a classic can eat a Costco-sized tub of dicks (or maybe eat half and save the rest for your mom), because I’ll take a Coen Brothers adaptation of Charles Portis over a John Wayne movie any day. What’s that dead A-hole done for me lately? Nothing. Just lays around all day filling a box. Heh, ‘filling box.’ *hip thrusts* *puts finger guns back in holsters*