(“Yes, Jake Sully, jump on my leonopteryx!”)
I’ve been trying to turn “rape the pterodactyl” into the next “keep f*ckin that chicken” for a few weeks now, but I confess it hasn’t really caught on. But the full Avatar script just showed up online, complete with the deleted TENTACLE SEX SCENE, and two of my predictions have been confirmed: the Na’avi’s sensitive tails (or “queues” as James Cameron calls them) are definitely sexual, and this is the beginning of a new era in fetish porn. Excerpt via Movieline:
EXT. WILLOW GLADE
He puts his face close to hers. She rubs her cheek against his. He kisses her on the mouth. They explore each other.
Then she pulls back, eyes sparkling.
Kissing is very good. But we have something better.
She pulls him down until they are kneeling, facing each other on the faintly glowing moss. Neytiri takes the end of her queue and raises it. Jake does the same, with trembling anticipation. The tendrils at the ends move with a life of their own, straining to be joined.
MACRO SHOT — The tendrils INTERTWINE with gentle undulations.
JAKE rocks with the direct contact between his nervous system and hers. The ultimate intimacy.
They come together into a kiss and sink down on the bed of moss, and ripples of light spread out around them.
THE WILLOWS sway, without wind, and the night is alive with pulsing energy as we DISSOLVE TO —
LATER. She is collapsed across his chest. Spent. He strokes her face tenderly.
Neytiri, you know my real body is far away, sleeping.
She raises up, placing her fingertips to his chest —
This body is real.
(she touches his forehead)
This spirit is real.
When I was first your teacher, I hated all Sky People. But you have also taught me.
Spirit is all that matters.She lays her head down, against his chest, listening to his heartbeat.
I am with you now, Jake. We are mated for life.
Yes. It is our way.
Oh. I forgot to tell?
He rouses up, making her look at him.
Really, we are?
It’s cool. I’m there.
He lays his head down, and her arms enfold him, sheltering him as he sleeps.
Oh man, this crap is ten times funnier when you see it written down. DON’T EVER LEAVE ME, POCAHONTAS CAT MONKEY, THE WHITE MAN IS YOUR ONLY HOPE!