This is a crazy story, you guys. It turns out, a horror movie opened in Italy. And you know what happened? Kids got scared. But you know who’s not happy about that? That’s right, Mussolini.
“For the past two weeks a trailer has been shown obsessively on TV and is terrifying thousands of children. The movie is called ‘Paranormal Activity’,” Italian Defence Minister [!!!] Ignazio La Russa said last Thursday. “It’s a terrible thing. I took notice because my seven-year-old son told me ‘Daddy, I’m scared’.”
Alessandra Mussolini, granddaughter of the Italian fascist dictator and head of a parliamentary committee on children [!!!!!!], said “Paranormal Activity” had “highly distressing content” and was causing “panic attacks and psychological problems among youths.” “I don’t think we can ban ‘Paranormal Activity’ now, but surely we need to study how to warn parents of the risks their children are incurring,” Mussolini said. The Italian parents’ association noted that admission to the movie is restricted in the United States, Britain, Germany and The Netherlands and asked for an age limit of 18 in Italy. [Yahoo]
Ahh, yes, sage advice from the brutal dictator’s granddaughter. And the Italian public would’ve listened too, if only she’d been dressed in a cleavage-bearing nurse’s uniform and being chased by a clown in a diaper with a butterfly net.
Side note: here’s an NSFW picture of Alessandra Mussolini which I swear to God I hadn’t seen until after I was already finished writing this post.