Comments of the week time again, folks. For today’s winner, I’ve got a copy of Capitalism: A Love Story on DVD to give away. It releases on DVD and Blu-Ray this TUESDAY, MARCH 9th. Check it out, because they give me free stuff, and I like that. Anyway, I love a good George Lucas joke, and in George Lucas Has an Idea for Indy 5, CROOOOW delivers:
*Lucas pulls a sandwich out of his fridge*
Simple. Brilliant. And a close runner up, Mark it Zero’s sublime impression of R. Lee Ermey in the Eyes Wide Shut post:
TODAY ON MAIL CALL, YOU SLACK-JAWED FAGGOTS WANTED TO SEE HOW A HAND GRENADE WORKS. WELL, BUCKLE YOUR SEATBELTS AND CUP YOUR BALLS. THAT OVER THERE IS A CORN-FED HOG STRAIGHT FROM KENTUCKY.
*pulls pin, lobs grenade*
THREE, TWO, BACON! HOOOOOOOOOOO RAAHHHHHHH!
Apparently I have a thing for all caps. And then there’s Michelle07. From Ja Rule is Doin Great:
Michelle07 says: There’s a pretty serious lack of necks in that there movie. Maybe Omarion has them in his hat. Seriously, how is that thing stuck on his head. This is a mystery movie.
4. From White Dog the Racist Dog, this one might require some knowledge of Howard Stern, but it was funny to me.
Stinky Peet says: Howard Stern is gonna have white racist dog star in a show on Sirius called The Spaniel Carver Hour.
5. Speaking of dogs, Jacktion! went canine in The Hurt Locker Smear Campaign:
Jacktion!: What’s is it, girl? Is Timmy stuck in a well again?
Lassie: *bark* *bark* *bark* *bark*
Jacktion!: Oh, I’m sorry. You thought Avatar was overly simplistic, making up in preachiness what it lacked in complexity?
Lassie: *bark* *bark* *bark*
Jacktion!: Yes, I bet it was frustrating to be unable to chase those giant cats.
6. Sometimes I think I reference Channing Tatum just to provoke Burnsy. From Gilligan’s Island the Movie:
Burnsy says: Yo girl, I’mma fix the hole in your poopdeck.
7. Donkey Hodey does R. Lee Ermey almost as well as Mark it Zero. From R. Lee Ermy says Tom Cruise Ruined Eyes Wide Shut:
Donkey Hodey: HOW TALL ARE YOU,SON? 5′3?
I DIDN’T KNOW THEY… OK, WELL ACTUALLY, THEY PROBABLY DO STACK SH!T THAT HIGH!
8. The FilmDrunk comments section would fall apart without Donkey Hodey. From James Cameron’s Favorite Author (of Last Train to Hiroshima) is a Liar:
Donkey Hodey says: The book will be re-titled and released as ‘Last Train from Hiroshima: A Million Little Pieces of Fried Japanese People.’
9. Chareth Cutestory owned the Marisa Tomei Deserves Respect, Not Dan Cortese thread:
Chareth Cutestory says: “Yo, girl, what this commercial needs is less Rock N’ Jock and more Pop N’ Lock.”
Chareth Cutestory says:
[At the Barilla headquarters]
CEO: GET ME BILL BELLAMY!
10. From James Cameron says Avatar Jokes are Fine:
Johns Little Dick says: Look at James Cameron being all humble. I bet he still makes his hookers use a sani-seat when they sh!t in his mouth.
Sometimes I love unnecessary vulgarity. Okay, most of the time. And just as an honorable mention, I had to disqualify many of your funny comments at Roger Ebert’s expense, but I have to admit this one gave me a chuckle.
Pauly Dangerously says: I like to imagine Roger Ebert over Gene Siskel’s grave saying, in his robot voice, “aAhAAhaHahaA, i OuTliVed yOu, YoU pUsSy!”.
Anyway, heterosexual asspats all around, well done you guys. And bring your A-game this week, because next Monday I’m giving away the Uncensored South Park Season 13 on DVD. If you don’t rock my world, I’m keeping it for myself.