Remember when Valentine’s Day came out and the stars were goofing about doing a Laverne and Shirley movie with Jessica Biel and Jennifer Garner? There’s no easy way to say this, but it sounds like it’s happening… with Jamie Foxx writing the script.
Valentine’s and L&S producer Garry Marshall, who was honored at the 18th Annual Night At Sardi’s Fundraiser for Alzheimer’s (his mother died of the disease), tells me the script is now being written by Valentine’s co-star Jamie Foxx. “Jamie and I are trying to do it,” Garry confirms. “He’s writing it. It’s a whole different modern day take on how they came up on the streets during difficult times. Laverne would be this very tough girl with a big ‘L’ tattooed on her arm. Jennifer Garner would play Laverne and Jessica Biel would play Shirley.” [TV Guide]
Get it? It’d be funny because the wholesome whitey would have to pretend to be ghetto, a joke that’s never, ever been used in a Hollywood film or insurance convention comedy show before. You might wonder if Jamie Foxx can write, and with an ego as big as his, the way he remembers it, he probably wrote all the dialog in all his films so far. But according to IMDB, he’s written for In Living Color, the Jamie Foxx Show, and From G’s to Gents. But I actually like this idea. Someone recognizable writing this kind of script would actually have to cop to it later and get asked about it in interviews, unlike your usual, semi-anonymous writer of Valentine’s Day or Randi Mayem Singer who can just collect a paycheck and disappear back into society like pod people. Don’t underestimate shame as a motivator. It’s the only reason I wear clothes.
Aw crap, I forgot to make a “where the white women at” joke.