Shrek Forever After and MacGruber both open today, and I’ve always wondered, why couldn’t promoting a movie be a little more like pro wrestling? Where’s the trash talk? The MacGruber people must’ve read my mind, because they started a new website, ShrekExposed, which among other things, shows pictures of Shrek dressed as Hitler and masturbating to religious figures.
Everyone knows that Shrek is a chronic masturbator, but do you know about his habit of masturbating on beloved public personalities, successful business people, and religious figures? I bet not. Shrek has been distributing images of himself ejaculating on photos of the Pope (pictured), Celine Dion, Buddha, the CEO of Home Depot, Rachel Ray, the CFO of Citigroup, and many, many more. Is nothing sacred to this disgusting ogre?
Hitler jokes and masturbation gifs? Touché, MacGruber marketing department, touché. You truly know the way to my heart. Another great thing to come out of this is that I discovered that “SherkMasturbating.com” isn’t taken as a domain name. I think I’m going to buy it and use it as a Colin Hanks fan site. You see while Zoolander had “Magnum,” “Le Tigre”, and “Blue Steel,” Colin Hanks just has “Shrek Masturbating.”