Thank You For Being A Meat
6.4 The Cooler

Assistant accused of aiding autoerotic asphyxiation ninjas

By / 06.04.10

CARRADINETo recap, a year ago today, David Carradine was found dead in his hotel room in Bangkok.  At the time, he was wearing a wig and fishnet stockings and had a rope tied around his neck with another tied around his genitals, with the two ropes tied together.  An independent forensics expert later ruled out suicide (which is strange, because most suicide attempters I know dress in women’s clothes and tie ropes around their d-cks first).  Later, his family’s lawyer raised the possibility of “kung fu assassins working in the martial arts underworld.”  Ahh yes, the ol’ whack-off ninja theory. They killed Kennedy, I read somewhere.

Which brings us to today.  Now Carradine’s wife is filing a lawsuit against the production company of his last movie.  Because clearly, when whack-off ninjas attack, it’s the production company that’s to blame.

According to the suit, obtained by TMZ, on the night David died he was supposed to have dinner with the director of the movie he was shooting — “Stretch.” [hee hee! -Ed.] The suit claims the production company assigned an assistant to David who was responsible for his schedule and transportation. 

Before the dinner, the assistant called David but he didn’t answer. The assistant then left for dinner without David.  An hour later, David reached the assistant but was told “they were already across town and David Carradine would have to make his own arrangements that evening.”

David was found naked in a closet in his hotel room, where he died from auto-erotic asphyxiation.  

The bottom line — the suit claims David — who was only in Bangkok for 3 days — would not have died had the production company fulfilled its obligations and followed industry standards in caring for its star. [TMZ]

She’s right.  That PA never should’ve gone to get dinner.  He should never have addressed his own hunger or need for lodging while he was waiting on a big star like David Carradine to call him back.  Without his incompetence, none of this would’ve happened — the wig, the lingerie, the autoerotic asphyxiation ninja attack; none of it.  He may not have directly caused all these things, but as the old saying goes, sometimes you don’t have to hang a man, you just give him enough rope to hang himself and tie the noose around his c*ck while he jerks off with a wig on in a Thai hotel.


TAGSAUTOEROTIC ASPHYXIATIONAUTOEROTIC ASPHYXIATION NINJASDAVID CARRADINELAWSUITSNINJAS

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