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Will Little Red Riding Hood bang a wolf now too?

By / 06.24.10

Twilight director Catherine Hardwicke’s next project is a “gothic horror reimagining” of Little Red Riding Hood (Red Riding Hood) starring Amanda Seyfried, Julie Christie, Gary Oldman, and the recently cast Lukas Haas.

David Leslie Johnson (Orphan) [SECRET DWARF HOOKER!! -Ed.] wrote the script, which is set in a medieval village haunted by a werewolf. [Variety]

But how will they update this for a contempo audience?  Will the werewolf fight vampires?  Will he embody ethnic temptation?? WILL HE HAVE CHISELED WOLF ABS????

The film is being described as a “gothic horror re-imagining” and stars Amanda Seyfried as the titular character, but a wolf isn’t the only thing she’s got to worry about– Seyfried’s character is caught in the midst of a love triangle. She’s engaged to a guy played by Max Irons, but also has a thing for Shiloh Fernandez’s character, an orphaned woodcutter. Then there’s Julie Christie as Red Riding Hood’s grandmother and Gary Oldman as Father Solomon, the guy in charge of finding and killing that pesky wolf. Haas is on board to play the village priest. [CinemaBlend]

HOORAY FOR LOVE TRIANGLES!  But let’s be honest, one of these guys has to turn out to be the werewolf.  Young girls aren’t going to watch a werewolf movie unless the hairy wolfman tries to f*ck the pretty white girl.  Well, not “f*ck” maybe, not until they’re married.  Before that, they’ll have to settle for blowing a house down.


TAGSAMANDA SEYFRIEDCATHERINE HARDWICKECROTCH FONDLEBOMBGARY OLDMANLUKAS HAASRED RIDING HOODSECRET DWARF HOOKERTwilight

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