That’s right, I’ve got two new trailers for Wu Tang vs. The Golden Phoenix, directed by RZA (who was pretty funny in Funny People) and supposedly 10 years in the making. It’s cool when you’ve got enough money and you’re a big enough movie freak that you can just hire your the crews from your favorite movies to make your own. RZA is the urban Kim Il Jong. The trailers don’t say much about the plot, but really, who cares. They’re much more interested in pimping their credits, which include:
- Fight choreographer Robert Tai of 5 Deadly Venoms
- Featuring members of the Jackie Chan Stunt Team
- And members of the USA Shaolin Team
- Starring Shaw Bros. Legend Chi Kuan Chun
- Also starring Dr. King Ogun Ali Muhammad, founder of the Universal African Fighting System
- And 34th generation Shaolin monk Shifu Shi Yan Ming [You know he’s a 34th generation Shaolin because he can dodge a Three Stooges eye poke without even looking. Nyuk nyuk nyuk! (*plonk*)]
Meanwhile, RZA bills himself as “35th generation Shaolin disciple The RZA. He’s still virgin, so his qi is very strong.” I love that guy. Besides that, there are exploding squibs, severed limbs, excessive yelling, and at one point, I’m pretty sure a guy shoots poison gas out of a backyard tiki torch. Ew, no, it’s Citronella, get it off! Get it off! Anyway, no release date is set yet, but when it is, you can bet I’ll be there, preferably really high. Another trailer after the jump.
Other notes: That’s John Frusciante of the Red Hot Chili Peppers doing the score (which, to be honest, seems kind of obnoxious). Also: no Michael Jai White? Black Dynamite’s Kung Fu could’ve taken this to a whole other level. Plus, him and RZA are both black dudes, so I assume they know each other. That’s how it works, right? What? What’d I say?